kilbeyland in maryland

oh my little pig
you read my words
you see thru my eyes
the venerable olde blurry eyes
kilbeys back n hes playing a new role
at the arse end of his life
transformed by yoga and veganism
and BY THE GRACE OF GOD!
hes now an agile looselimbed goose
plucking his bassy bass
lunging and thrusting
his impeccably muscled legs
veterans of thousands of laps
and thousands of asanas
his husky olde voice stronger and truer
his words honed down
his band play like champions
he appears in falls church theatre
theres about 400 ish
and the olde killer is happy
the music comes down
the band lift off
he cant describe it
the audience is a beauty
warm n enthusiastic
vocal in the right parts
quiet in the right parts
we join up the band n audience
and the churches journey begins
trawling thru wrecked lives
and impossible futures
and broken hearted romeos
and dirty horny devils
and futuristic pasts
and timeless distances
and unspeakable things
things of great wonder
and irony and contempt
and loads of wide eyed fourth form naivete
and drugs and withdrawals and stoned reveries
and voyages into the unknown and just untold
and greek hits n myths and romans and west virginian women
and stupid junkies and crone-like infants
and all the rest of the mess
that i shook outta my pure bread brain
yeah i am a transformer
i transform our thoughts into songs...
could anyone else have done it?
i am exploring this place
where few others have the wherewithal to go
yoga shows me the way
music enables me
i want to dance
i want to play
i want to sing
i want to show off
i want to smile
look universe
i'm trying to learn my lesson
thank you for my many chances ( given happenstances)
its a drag being me
its exciting being me
cant help feeling i am not me tho
then who am i
i am someone else sublimated in this thing sk
ooh its exciting isnt it children
olde sk has now shown you
that yoga and swimming and veganism (almost)
will reshape ya
i got 38 year olde guys asking me for advice
man some of ya are digging yer own graves
listen to me believe me
if you want the results put in that time
craigie milla i'm so proud of you my son
you already got a couple a weeks down
keep going
in one year
you will feel ten years younger
I FUCKING GUARANTEE IT!
you will also handle everything with more aplomb
should you need to jump a fence or climb up a tree
or surf a wave or stand in a queue
or deal with nitwits
or play with children
or love your sweet lady
whatever it is
yoga + veg + exercise
yeah i know you know
its hard at first to abstain from things youve liked
things you grew up believing were good things
its hard to stand in awkward poses
its hard to get yer arse out there n exercising
YOU DONT THINK I KNOW...
look this is the only answer i have :
we have all pursued the bad stuff diligently
be it beer or chocolate or smack...whatever..
insert nemesis here
now pursue good things diligently
say to yourself
FUCK IT ALL (>>>>>>)
insert your name here
i am gonna do yoga today
whether its hot cold or friggin' hailing
i'm gonna go swimming whether the waters boiling
or solid frickin' ice
i'm gonna do yoga regardless of whatever anyone else thinks
and then you simply
program ANY deviation outta the equation
no exceptions...hey you...i mean
NO EXCEPTIONS
you dont miss yoga cos its yer birthday
or cos you got a headache
or cos pete n dorothy coming over later
you dont miss yer exercise cos it looks bleak outside
and once a veg
you never ever ever eat a deadish thing again
not for fucking anyone or anything
its just how you are now hard wired
then
persevere
then
watch the weight drop off
and
feel better (about yourself)
then
cosmic awakening
then
power joy accomplishment gracefulness art music
then
more yoga
more exercise
less eating
more fruit more nuts more raw alkaline food
more kindness
more mercy
more understanding
suddenly people are attracted to you
a strange magnetism that those who practice yoga have
they become magicians
able to perform almost impossible feats
they become slinky feline
they insinuate themselves through the world like cats
they pick up on their intuition
their clairvoyance
their gestalt with others
this is a kind of magic
why dont you believe me
please dont eat one more dead thing
its making you die in tiny ways every time
you eat these poor miserable rotting bits n pieces
mutilated corpses burnt n warmed up
sad creatures we didnt love
how can we then love ourselves?
how may love find us?
so thats my secret thats no secret
i believe there are many "ins"
mine is not the only path
but it has worked for me
it is the one i know
tune in yer soul n mind n body
synch em up
you dont have to be out of touch
thats my advice
now i'm in annapolis
in a lovely hotel
where i have twice stayed with my wife
i wish she was 'ere right now
because i have a nice room with a tree-ey view
muted hushed comfy room
a night off
soft king sized bed
low lighting...
me n tim drift round
do our laundry
have veg burger at waterfront
american servings so big
i now only eat half
oh...i wanna eat the other half...kinda...
but its just too much for me
i need just enough fuel to maintain my machine
it runs much better on empty than full
it likes chlorophyll
it likes fiji water
it likes fruit smoothies
it likes hummous
it likes to have a rest too
anyway
wow
what a rant
thanks to my friends from N.C.
who gave me some muggles
anyways
i leave me here
sitting in a warm pleasant hotel room
5th floor
steve roaches dream circle plays on my i box doo dah
the yoga mat is unfurled
i will sink into my poses
my mind will quiten
my soul will sigh with pleasure
my body may rebel or enjoy
but i will not sway from my routine
all my love
and good luck with the changes
the venerable olde sk
maryland juni 2009

you are now entering Unreality (pop 1)

pittsburgh.....
yeah...i remember...uh...pittsburgh
i do my second yoga session in a corridor outside an office
its warm
the theatre is olde and funky
the vibe is cool n laidback n easy
i guess about 200 people
but guess what
they really like us
they are very appreciative
they really seem to love what we're doing
but for fucks sake
we are one of the best bands in the world
we are underappreciated
and now 200 folks have just stumbled upon us
here in PA
down in a run down theatre in boho-ville
but when we start to play
all bets are off
the sheer inexorability of our sound
when unleashed full throttle....
i dance about but in truth weariness gnaws at my bones
i still try my hardest but occaisionally find myself drifting off
i think about some daydream
and when i come back ive missed chunks of the song
i strive to be in the here n now
but the combination of internal and external proclivities
always produces a mild confusion in me
everything thats happened to me lately bewilders me
coincidences sinkron-icities
nightmares and visions
i am now where no one else much has gone
my combo of attributes and failings
my triumphs n despairs
my big mouth and hard heart
yeah all of that n more
pittsburgh...yeah...i really enjoyed playing there
we jump offstage before encore
a door opens
ive gone from being onstage playing at a million decibels
to being out on a crowdy boho street smoking mother nature
people drift past like in a lucid dream
i puff n drift
my reality moorings are further loosened
back onstage for some more music
i pluck my bass
i sing my words
it seems i can do no wrong
it all just happens
like driving a car
the music embedded in me by now
it just rolls out like a tap turned on
plucking the bass so easy to do
yoga helps me
yoga got me loose limbed like a goose
yoga suggests things
yoga says jump around if yer happy
rock to the east
rock to the west
stay still
yeah suddenly people are interested in yoga
you can see the proof in me
not because i am extraordinary
but because i persevered and i got the results
and i can bend around like an 18 year old
and boy does it feel good
the yoga is getting me in tune with everything else
dont ask me how it works but it works
it may take years but it works
eventually
its hard work
and the more you need it the harder it is
if you wanna grow young again just do yoga every day
you cant learn yoga from a video
you need classes
and practice it day in day out
the more you do
the quicker you approach some lovely state of grace...
yeah
last nights hotel had a horrible smell
a strange antiseptic smell that had gone off somehow
oh my word it was verily a nasty pong
and could i get the internet to work
could i like hell....
red roof inn...you have been warned
young craigie is playing up a storm with both bands
and charming the locals with his aussie accent
and it will be hard to ever play without the keys again
hes a very amenable chap and always seems to be "up" to something
i feel sure sooner or later he will be snapped up
by a big band
or by a cougar
or by his own success
one can never tell
gary and kerry watching on from cambelltown
we salute you
young craigie is doing quite well
i'm sure goodness and mercy
will follow him all the days of his life
a valuable utility player....for the time being...
the adam franklin guys are great guys
and im loving listening to em more n more every night
we are quite complimentary to each other
theres some great guitar moments in adams set
its unique stuff
now ive driven 4 n half hours to get to falls creek virginia
which is a suburb of washington dc kinda
its close to a loada places
lovely venue
weve presold maybe 300 tickets
boy
signing stuff aftershow is doing my head in
whatever i do or say i feel stupid
its such an awkward situation
i never thought people would fucking venerate us
its a weird feeling to suddenly be me
some old underappreciated n venerated dude
like im confucious or something
the venerable bead
but fuck it all i'm nearly 55
i guess i am arrived at an age of veneration
but this is confusing too
i have not prepared for my role
i dont know how or who to be
sometimes i try to be real
but what is real to someone doing this
long long drives
everynight in a different bed
loud music
adoring crowds albeit smallish ones
people shaking your hand
people telling ya yer great
nice people too
educated people
cool people and uncool people
suave and naive
young n old
boy they like their church
i just gotta smile
and count my blessings
and dont worry I DO
i ring up nk at 2 in morning
she and girls in centennial park sydney
daddy ...says scarlet
we're feeding the ducks and the eels...
in my nasty smelling room alone in the night
i can imagine
how nice it would be...
gonna hit the mat for an hour
hang in there you would be yogis
persist like yer life depends on it
and
in some ways
it does

another day gone

the day goes past in a blur
i get up
i havent been sleeping so much lately
i go to bed late real late
like 3 or 4 am each night
i still wake up at 7 30
i start to feel a bit disconnected from
whatever theyre dishing up as reality these day
cleveland was a goodish sized crowd...
and a great audience too
its getting easier n easier
the 2 yoga sessions a day are accelerating me
down this path
yoga or magic said crowley
these are the 2 paths
and now i am committed to yoga
my 2 hours a day
i am becoming thoroughly rejuvenated
a spring in my step
a coil in my spring
a bounce in my coil
a step in my bounce
the bass plays itself practically
my fingers are on auto
they decide themselves what to do
the way it should be
anyway we do a real good set
the clevelanders love it
cool
afterwards i sign n meet n greet some fans
people getting quite shy and others getting noisy
a strange situation to be sure
people who been listening to ya for 25 years
what can ya say to em ?
thanks to nick friction n matt n tim for good vibes
nice to meet freddie
selling out on some items
k/k is sold out...what a lovely record indeed...
must get some more in soon
anyway we drive to pittsburgh
a very gothic kinda place
a very very interesting city
dark
full of leafy summertime trees
a certain melancholy pierces it
we playing in old funky theatre in boho-town
everytown gotta boho-town
in dallas its deep ellum for example
in san fran its the haight
in sydney its the cross
in melbourne its st kilda
in new york its greenwich village
in stockholm its sodermalm (i guess)
etc
before soundcheck i have a surreal n lovely experience
a lady called marty offered me some help with my tinnitus
i walked down to her pain clinic
and go upstairs where marty is waiting
a small sprightly lady in her early sixties
a vegan for 20 years
she looks young beyond her years
shes very kind n nice
and she talks to me about her treatments and shows me
various pamphlets
i go off into a bit of a pot/tiredness/relaxed trance
she is a big fan
and even quotes me back
"you can leave your clothes on"
when i ask if i need to take off shirt
she eventually massages certain points along my spine
pacifying nodes of anxiety
she sprays some very cold stuff on my face in shoulders
and then jumps in quick to massage as the muscle relaxes
her boss n mentor appears , quite a colourful theatrical type
hes seventy six but has the mojo of a forty year old
he reckons he can cure 99 per cent of pain if given an hour
he and marty discuss such esoteric matters as how many knuckles
can one fit in ones mouth
(3 is very good...a sign of a relaxed jaw)
the gentle prodding n pulling of the treatment
gets me endorphins flowing
and i feel pretty empty/dreamy
marty lays some lovely healthy food on me
and i give her a box set n some prints
dont know if tinnitus has abated
but an interesting couple of hours
and relaxing treatment
come back to theatre
gonna do some more yoga
gonna eat some fruit for dinner
gonna try for 3 in a row good shows
love on ya forever
sk

snapped shot

the magic bag
a run down kinda old theatre
in a nice trendy part of detroit
very pretty
for dinner i have the best thing of tour so far
a seitan vegan reuben sandwich
just like the real thing but no pain or blood involved
being a veg i had never had a reuben before in my life
but wow i was really hooked
i treated my self to a soy coffee n vegan scone for dessert
i hang around out back of gig
watching it rain
watching the lights come on n off in the carpark
feeling that summer humidity like i was in a film
because surely thats what i am in
people spot me
and i talk to em
and they share some jazz knowledge
smoke that pipe of peace and catching someones cold
we shake hands
we take pictures
we sign records
i go inside n listen to adam franklin
and bolts of melody
featuring our craigie on bass
boy americas got craigie real excited
anyway
adam franklin is a real gentleman
and the band are bloody fantastic
seriously cool guitar music with great sounds
a good match for the church
we go on
the gig is pretty packed
best gig of tour so far (FOR ME)
the strings just zing under my fingers
the words fly outta my throat
tims drums sound like a roman legion moving across a field
inexorable
we are all locked in
i having the great time
when
during you took
a nasty man in audience is raving on at top of his voice
like a mosquito buzzing around
poor sk tries to ignore bad man in audients
but bad man just goes BLAH BLAH BLAH!
and poor sk explodes
before he knows it
threatening the bad man with rude language
all suddenly hot n bothered
the band start up again
the atmosphere is tense
the band chuck themselves into it full tilt
poor old sk transmutes his wild anger into passion
and verily the band doth lock in
re lock
and re lock
and then we cruise on
all the way out the door
swamped by a nice group
who gather for photos n autos
i sign n sign n sign
in the semi darkness cant see a damn thing
the night is warm
the people are happy
i feel pleasantly drained
i feel pleasantly vindicated
i chat to the fans
they are all very very nice
they really really do appreciate us...
how can a man be sad or angry if he is appreciated?
tonite
beachland ballroom
a bit under in tickets as is pittsburgh
so come along please
by all means
sk

detroit rock city

in truth
i dont care about what you say
if youre for me or against me
if you think i'm hot or not
or if you think im too old
or too small
or too harsh
or too easy
at almost 55
why should i give a flying fig.....
i AM grandpa steve
so get used to it
or bugger off
and i dress how i fucking like
n if my wife likes it (she does!)
thats enough for me
i am beyond any makeovers or dressing "nicely"
and uh
blah blah blah
voice in another room : aw you hurt the killers feelings



we played well in grand rapids
smallish crowd
biggish venue
but a nice crowd
enthusiastic n generous like most u.s. audiences
we pick up some radio interference in an amp
blah blah
we drive today thru the mother of all storms
like being on the bottom of the sea
i'm sitting in my hotel for a change before the gig
but i'll be going down for soundcheck soon
am hungry and a bit non plussed
gotta fit in yoga n some ironing
gotta have 5 mins down thyme
heres a pic of me in my room
i not asking for advice
i'm just showing ya me in my room
tonite ferndale detroit
last time we had a brilliant nite here
the weather is rainy n gloomy however
dont let it put you off
come n see this unbuff spotty bag of bones
pensioner with the blurry eye
the ringy ears
and the ruined heartnlungs
and terrible clothes
who posts inappropriate pictures of his SHOULDERS
on his own blog
(the cheek,the hide)
rattle n stumble about onstage
at the magic bag
anyhow
there may be some music
if you can tear your eyes off how awful i look
voice in another ego : ooh hes gone off the rails now

ok hope to see ya at the show fiendss
love
the withered one

grand and rapid....just like the mangey panther

hot , little pig
oh god so hot
last nite was mill walky
ok i guess
pretty good 7 n a half maybe
i dunno
i rocked n i rolled
more subdued (sub-dude) than usual
i rock to the east etc
pluck my bass
kilbey health report

1. my eye is blurry
i doubt if it will ever get clear again
i now have to peer at everything with my one good I

2 my blisters are now hardened calluses

3 i personally asked my suave professor in sydney
about jazz
he said avoid stimulants
i said what about jazz
he said alcohol is worse...much worse
for yer heart..?.i asked....
yes he said
what about jazz? i asked again
the doc shrugged n smiled
he did not say yay or nay
it was obviously his opinion that jazz was not especially bad
my seizure was caused by de-hydration not jazz

4 i'm doing a lot of yoga to fill in time
i am seeing grand and rapid improvement
i am loose limbed
i actually feel more able than twenty five years ago
i exhort all my readers to take up yoga
if i have but one true message for ye
that i can say in words
which will make your very dreams come true
IF you can persist
then it is this
practice yoga
as much as you possibly can
it will work for you i promise
give it time
give it time
i have rehabilitated myself
i had no special genetic predisposition
all i had was determination
in 2002 i was a podgy energyless directionless gink
i believed in yoga n swimming n i pursued them
i think yoga is magic
i believe the following things to be very bad for one vis a vis ageing :
cigarettes
booze
tv
cheesey stuff
eggy bacony sausagey breakfasts
milkshakes with loadsa ice cream etc
cell phones
computers
sitting around doing nothing
fluorescent lights
any kind of metal music
arguing bickering quarreling
being envious or bitter
being bossed around
feeling unfulfilled
soon i will be 55
these are the things i have observed
the following things keep you young
swimming
yoga
breathing
chi gong
good sex (with a bad mofo)
not too much or too little sleep
eat only half on yer plate
avoid eating as much as possible
most of us dont need to eat all day
music and singing
hanging with nice people
walking everywhere
meditation
being naive and silly
letting yer fucking hair down
letting it all go
having a hubby or wife you really love n fancy
etc
you already know
you already turned off
hey you
yeah you
reading this blogge
the years passing you by
pants a bit tight this year round the old tummy wummy..?
you better address it
or you'll have to fight even harder later
or whatever
do what ya like n see if i care
i'm gonna fuckin' do yoga till the day i die
and at least i'll croak flexibly

yesterday in milwaukee
i was having a smoke in an alleyway
behind the gig
next door an abortion clinic
complete with "christian" ding dongs
accosting the people going in n out
i was quite oblivious to all this
i was down a dark alley puffing on mother nature
when a worker from clinic spots me
and everyone starts yelling at me
they think (i later surmise) that im a anti-abortion terrorist
or something
everyones threatening to call cops
fuck!!
i go back inside venue
n lay low
later 30 minutes later
i go out to buy something to nibble
n a load of people start yelling
theres the suspicious looking man!!!!!!
a security mans starts trying to question me
excuse me sir...were you down that alley before?
i give 'im a bit of the olde aussie bluster
the crowd is surprised to hear my strange accent unfold
i admit i do look a bit para military in my get up
did you come from this alley sir ? the security man says
no i came from that alley there....
i say in my best broadest aussie accent
like paul hogan on xanax
or something
he starts walking alongside me
n i walk away faster n faster
suddenly i jump back inside the venue
while a confused crowd mill around
looking for the "suspicious man"
everyone inside is laughing their asses off
n i get called by the mill walky crowd there
"that suspicious man" for rest of the night
jesus...sometimes i attract bloody bad luck
anyway
its a friggin heat wave here in mitch again
its fucking 97 degrees i kid thee knot
last nite stayed at a 39 dollar a night hotel
(oh god it was the flea bag pits)
in michigan city indiana
indiana wants me
lord i cant go back there
any way tonite its grande rapidos
and its a huge venue which could look horribly empty if...
see ya later then

rowed storey

i go up to the roof
dark night
some kind kat from minne apple is
had laid some jazzy jazz on the old jazzmen
and let me tell you childe
that verily it doth rock
serious jazz serious music
seriously wasted i do yoga
its hot outside
the phone interview
the interview down at the station
the interviewers are polite and intellectual types
they seem to know what theyre on about
a long way from some of the turkeys they got
yes theres a lot of quietly intellectual people out this way
sort of low key but very well educated and spoken
up in this neck of the woods i guess
wow i like mill walky
look i can understand why all those old english rockers
settled down in america eventually
i mean olde johnny lennon coulda lived anywhere
but
i dunno
just so many different cities
just so many different landscapes
just so many different people
look
i like america
i love america
i love marilyn n marlon n elvis n jeff buckley
i love greg dulli n tom verlaine n bobby dylan n patti
and beach boys n byrds n bruce n so many others
boy you gotta be weird if you dont like some of it here
of course theres some scary bits and some bland bits
and some stupid bits
but i have encountered this in
australia sweden and england and everywhere else
the people who see us are genuinely delighted
beyond even a london or melbourne or amsterdam crowd
they love us it seems
they truly appreciate it without any preconceptions
critics n fads have little sway here
if youre mediocre, no good review is gonna bullshit a crowd
except maybe in l./a. or new yourk
i pride myself these days on delivering it for all i'm worth
its just fucking stupid otherwise to come here
risk my life on the roads for up to 12 hours a day or night
and then not give it my best shot
so bugger it!
thats what im doing
the songs are singing themselves
i stand back n mouth the words
in sync with something
some big music machine
i get hooked up
its effortless then
this is where i hoped to get
and by jungo here i am
connected
right up
direct feeed adjustable drip
on tap
intra braineously
i know how to do it now
so come on america
gimme one last chance
embrace me to your warmest show biz heart
im sorry everywhere else
but its nice to play here in the states
they invented show biz here
the audience is so enthusiastic
nice people give us veg snacks (thanks!)
people even like our silly accents
little craigie is having a ball but wearing himself out
i dont even know what day it is
i dont even know what time it is
tonite we drive on after gig
to grand rapids
dunno if i been there before
have no preconceptions whatsoever
can only think one day ahead
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and from early july on
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it is a cd of music and blog style reveries
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its 50 bucks and its a very limited edition thing
the prints are very framable
holly and kimbo did an amazing job
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plus back with 2 beasts etc
and now our live engineer in the states
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for true fiendom

******************

anyway
i'm sitting here baxstage
in shank hall
waiting to soundcheck
blah blah blah
my arm is tired
it says
stop now
so
its over
bye

more instant

we become becalmed in traffic
stopped to a standstill ion
the trees and forests
the meadows and fields
green
american life in the summer time
i drift off up a river with my sioux friend
we wander thru gentle vegetation for years
we meander through the past
i like the things you sing he says
they are somehow consistent with my own ways
we take sacred herbs and we apprehend reality
by the sandy banks of the rushing river
white birds appear in the blue sky
i say goodbye and walk thru a door in a tree
into a huge restaurant
people doing the tango
a quartet plays in a cage
the waiters dance about
life is easy
life is good
civilization
we smile and order
delicious food materializes
i eat mine down n get up n rush off
outside its raining
windy and rainy like a film set
like smalltown usa
or some blacknwhite tv show i saw at aunty mays
here i am
me
im in america
look here i am can you see me here
wait till i tell dad and kathy
wait till i tell hubba bridge
someone tosses me my bass
i stride onstage in some redlight
wham whack bam boom blam rama dinga lingo
thwack rumble humble brangle dam dam dam boom
crack whack bam bam bim bim wallop danga ding dong
jesus what a racquet
rocking in the free world
everything on eleven
yeah they clap n cheer
wow
alright
go go
hey you gotta admit my knees are in goodshape
rock n roll thats what it is
with a little bit extra whatnot
banga shanga ranga dong ding crash wallop
yeah we play on n on
i scream out i whisper
i rock n jump n thump n all the rest
whatever it all means
how can i tell
i fall down a hole
and im in a hotel having a very very bad dream
everythings going so wrong wrong wrong
beneath the thin veneer
in my bad n naughty dream
i was alone
ALONE!
god dont let me be alone
i woke up with a start
it was 10 a.m.
the pool guy was out there working on the indoor pool
some nice paintings hung on the wall
i hadnt noticed them earlier
the bad dream shatters me somehow
i was crying in it
i do yoga watching the poolman clean the pool
i wonder about his life
about his wife n kids
about his holidays and his car
next thing i'm up on this roof
a guy from alaska whose invented powdered beer
i look out over milwaukee
i think
what made milwaukee famous
made a gooseball out of thee
the guy is a very nice guy however
we talk for a while
we smoke the pipe of peace
we talk of cabbages and kings
he is surprised to see me fly off the roof
and over and out over the greatest lakes
i swoop down over the warm waters
i shoot past boats like a white mist
i see my sioux friend on a shore
we sit together
he surprised i can be so dumb n smart
at the same time
he shakes his head and laughs
i knew youd come back
i alight on the stage
i take up my axe
i go down to slaughter creek
the audience....we slay em
me n my friend
i heft my mighty warhammer in a sonic arc
i crouch low as i take on board your charge
i see my friend disappear in a volley of digital shots
i battle on down the aisles of truck stops
staring through glass cases at beers n wines n coffees n sodas
i must look like a freak
i catch sight of myself
a lunatic loose in the wal-mart
a crazy olde prophet who forget what he was s'posed to say
a jazz crusader all blurry at 3 in morning
at 3 in afternoon
the road truly doth go on forever
i see bikers n trailers n sailors n failures
i see houses and theme parks n giant mice n bulls
i see mansions n hovels
i see the good n the bad
i see the places go by
i see the blue summer sky
i try to hang on to myself
whoever you are now
yesterday is so gone
but isnt that how life ends?
i feel small n alone suddenly
milwaukee is a huge place
a huge city as big as sydney easy
and im down by the lake
homesick n ache
nice room
i hear a foghorn boom
the a.c. slightly sings
like the american road sings
yes it sings its songs
listen says tim
the two sides sing a different song
like a female vox from a mellotron
man you should stop now
stop and get some rest
come in from the heat

mini- hopeless

chicago
yeah we did alright
my bass n i synch up
i love that fucking piece of wood
its my staff
its my wand
we are in deepest symbiosis
we are in love
no one else can play it like me
only to me does it offer itself up completely
so i play it at the h.o.b. chicago
what a gorgeous venue
what treatment n hospitality
what sumptuous groovy dressing rooms
(tonites is a damp burned out basement)
yeah
we did ok there
afterwards a bit of a feeding frenzy to get stuff signed
people really get into it over here dont they?
people carrying on as if.....
....they just saw the best band in the world......
meanwhile after show drive outta chicago
for hours n hours thru into whizz-consin
(looking just like perth)
stay at another anon hotel
get to sleep at 4
get up at 9
5 hours sleep like death
like black exhaustion
my wife....ah....my wife
sends me some pictures of herself
and i am stunned by her beauty
and how fucking gorgeous she is
and getting better n better with age
the pictures gob smack me
dear nk alias duckling dalton
you are officially the bees knees
and uh
i wish the 13 year old me
had happened upon these pictures
i think he may have had a religious experience
oh my lord!
moving right along
before i become becalmed in my wifes ample charms
we get up early n drive to minneapolis
i like it here
we are playing a very funky old theatre
its pretty bohemian
(is this what the odditorium is like?)
outside hippies n cops n frat boys
sometimes i despair for american malehood
for every brad pitt theres 4 million frat boys
or groan up frat boys
big pink round guys
stop with the beers n meat , fellas
cant ya see whats happening here...?
it wont be the commies or terrorists that getcha
itll be the colonel or ronald the clown
99 billion served says the golden arches proudly
i vomit my contempt
99 billion acres of forests destroyed
99 billion cows executed
99 billion greasy french fries going through sick stomachs
99 billion pigs fat ice creams served up
99 billion extra pounds hanging off the worlds guts
99 million times bad karma
one day we will all look back on this as a horror
the meat industry is the cancer in societys bowels
and the poor victims are the cows and the sick carnivores who eat em
such a shame
such a shame
meanwhile i experiment with eating hardly anything
and throwing myself into yoga
i want to be a performer
i want to rock and never stop
i want the glory and the power
i want the men to envy me
i want to bring the house down
i want to hit you on every level like the devil
i want it all
i want to do it right
i have the best bass n best wife in the world( for me)
the curves and angles
the sights and the sounds
im a lucky man
i hope you understand
more chances than i de-serve or what
my life..a comedy a tragedy a huge lesson
come along and see the show
buy my new box set poem music art thingo
total immersion experience
ok
now for a bit more yoga
ok now for a bit more jazz
ok now for a bit more music
ok now
so go
go n do it
n tell em sk sent ya
and that the proofs in his pudding
and that verily
he doth rock

you read it already in hyperion

voice : kilbey where are you ?
i am here
i am here
my dear one
oh i am here
in the deep heart of the night
flying across moors and mountains
travelogue in velvet
doing yoga against a wall in denver
buying a coffee in iowa
checking in here
checking out there
a whirl of green and grey
the miles thunder pass
rain crooked rain
lightning my old mirrored face
onstage i jump like a youngman
offstage i groan with my years
i talk to adam franklin bout t rex
i call nk at home holding the fort so well
(eve has gashed open her foot n cant walk)
i walk through bustling malls n lonely places
i sit at the house of blues drinking orange fizz
i talk to people
i meet people
i sign my stuff
i pitch my product
i strut my stuff
i dance n i duck n i weave
i try to stay awake as tim drives
in a microsleep i stand onstage singing
singing this most lovely song
and my bass pumps oh the most beautiful thing
and im doing garudasana on the interstate 88
my grateful hands accept the gift of music
my father watches on from cockney heaven
he says
youre doing well slim
i pick up my axe i go into battle
a pawn in the aesthetic wars
i rock to save you from yourself
i come from another time n place
i am your ancestors with a fender
i represent the iliad
i sing the odyssey
i strum the anthem of nineveh
i talked in forked tongues
white hippy moses they will call me
for i lead you i know not where
i am a another guy in a best western
i practice yoga 2wice a day
there are but 2 paths
magic or yoga
why not take em both i wonder
as we hurtle along some green and sunny lane
beyond the rainbows edge
the jazz flows a little
thank you craig i like that jazz too
we play like stateless troopers
we overcome obstacles
my co-horts weapons bite hard
my ears ring on in their silence of stone
people say
i feel like i known you my whole life man
i say
yes you have
but i havent known you
altho i wrote it for you
just for me? the punter asks
no just for everyone who wanted to hear this
this 30 years of music
i pulled them damn songs out of my head
and i put them all on a table
and i named em
and i nurtured em
and i loved em all
everyone of my ugly songs
oh i loved loved loved em all
i tried so hard i nearly died
and still the miles go
ka-rump ka-thump
underneath the van
inside we laugh n argue n sit silently
wishing the miles away
i see a guy without a nose
i see people so big they can hardly move
i see people all fucked up from meat n cigarettes
i see arbours of lovely trees and the greenest grass
moonscapes in wyoming
oh america i love you n i fear you
and oh i understand you
whoever you are
i being neither australian nor english
i come here
i stretch out over your ten billion miles
i see the whites n blacks n reds n yellows
i talk to people
i talk to old people n children
i play rocknroll mister
im a fucking singer
in one of the best bands in the world
you never heard of me ?
we zoom off
i pack up my suitcase
i unroll my mat
you see my knees
you see my hands
you see my back
i unfold
i let go
i try to let go
i try to remember n forget
i walk out onstage
the people cheer
theyre happy to see us
i pull my bass around like a drunk woman
i take liberties with it
i finger it n stroke it n i fool around
in turn it hums n croons under my nicely blistered fingers
i tell it do this do that
it resonates
it combines with the drums
it extrudes out into the air
i slip my key into the slot
another room
another mile
just another moonlight mile
down the road
i drive like demon
i dream at the wheel
i dream of my bass
my bass and my wife
i get them mixed up in my dream
both with their curvaceous waists
i read my fucking emails
i check my bank account
i cant fall asleep
i cant wake up
i cant get warm
i cant get young
in the mirror i look a hundred miles old
i sing my groovy lyrics the hoi polloi cannot grok
in denver the hippies grok it and they say wow
i need my glasses..is this shampoo or conditioner...?
i shave
i clean my olde limey teeth
i cant get the window open
i shake hands with some guy
he takes a picture of me with his wife
they both genuinely love me
they treat me like jesus or something
you are a prophet says the ex-exotic dancer
you are the soundtrack of my life says joe everyman
your soy latte is ready honey says the woman in idaho
they keep a restaurant open for us specially
the americans are mostly hospitable
they do not cater to vegetarians in the sticks tho
i live on nothing
AND I DONT CARE!!!
sleep n food are theoretical entities
now skinnier than ever
kilbey has a lean n hungry look
kilbey in illinois
the house o' blues
backstage like fantasy of warrens
n rooms full of mexican jesus n elvis n skulls n guitars
chuck berry marc bolan cocaine heroin
murder magic and the steamy weather
black bluesmen with wings n snakes
a punctured tyre means no soundcheck
playing music blind like ray charles
im a white king mamba eating spinach dip
i write songs about the distance n the time
both of em disappearing down the end of the highway
someone calls my name
i look up n the dream is gone
yoga n veganism pay off in spades
onstage a wild inchoate energy rushes thru me
oh i have a ball n a ball
n i got some balls in these ballrooms of mars
im steve kilbey and youre listening to kfuk
adam franklins bass player breaks his foot
our young craigie steps up to the plate
altho not a bass player
hes just learnt 8 new songs in the back of a van
and tonite
hes playing em in the windy city
bass player with adam
keyboards with us
good for a boy from campbelltown nsw
the road beckons
the road tells me to ramble n rock around america forever
lets face it
this is where they prob'ly like me most
theres a million cities i could play
places you never heard of
places you'll never go
cement works quarries glades forests hills rivers
highways
50 cent cones says the same sign mile after mile
the franchises
the truckies on speed
the smell of brakes n petrol
i rock to the east
i rock to the west
my life is unfathomable
a briefest moment in a glorious spotlight
the curtain comes down
alonely in a dark cabin
shooting up a highway like a vein
in vain i hope not
i eat little
i talk my head off
i go mad
i become sane again
i vibe myself up
way way way up
and then gently down to earth
at the best western at 4 in the a.m.
a hundred miles outta town
on the edge of everytown
just like that song i sing
i am everyman
everywhere
nowhere for long
golden sandy babylonian banks on lazy streams
undulating mountains n the distance
shafts of jehovah-esque light
jesus in salt lake city surfing the dead sea
something in the depths some monstrosity
boom boom boom
bang clang rattle tat
the guitars shriek n wail
the voice falters n grows faint
life ebbs n flows
i move to unknown pulses
i am manipulated by unseen fingers
i am wound up and set free
i play n i sing n i play n i sing
hail marc bolan
hail ziggy angeldust
hail bobby zylan
hail johnny winston oh-boogie
fuck yeah!
soon i will be unleashed to rock oh ha ha ha
believe it or not
yes i am a singer mister in this here band
whats that?
what kinda music do we all play?
i'll tell ya
its only rocknroll
but i like it
like it
like it
yes i do!

attachment

i am the killer
the killer in me is the killer in you
i sing the body electrique because very few of us can
my life is complicated
my gig is complicated
try playing the bass to pangaea and singing at the same time
i am an ambassador
a showman
a shaman
a washed up olde geezer from the frickin' 80s
by my own stupidity i became hooked on fame n drugs
by my own solid endeavours
i stand before you now
rejuvenated metamorphed into some new thing
i travel across america
we play portland...oh what a lovely place
we play seattle...superb...in everyway
we hit the road
we stop in anytown by the side of a highway
we check in at 4 in the morning
we check out at 10
and then we drive
in vans
in a nother big van pulling a trailer that dont go so fast
when we get to seattle
we see the numbers cant add up for us doing kc with a 2.30 load in
leaving immediately after denver show..
if we had a coach n dedicated driver
we coulda jumped on coach
slept all the way to kc
did gig
blah blah blah
chicago a day after...another impossible drive
after allready swerving about on roads being half asleep
i dont wanna do it
we cant
we cant die so that we may rock
the gig coulda been anywhere
kc was just in the wrong place at the wrong time
believe me
we fought n fought with each other
we looked at planes trains hiring a coach
none of them possible without losing our asses
i wanted to come to kc cos a friend o mine
told me the venue was one of the best on the tour
i hate cancelling shows
IT GOES AGAINST 40 YEARS IN FUCKING SHOW BIZ!!!
the decision divided and racked us
anyone who doesnt believe that can personally find me
and i'll fucking persuade him by other means if necessary
i will not be accused of this outrageous twaddle on my own pages
to the rest of you...
i am deeply sorry..specially for those who reserved planes hotels
it happened in aust when i had my seizure
other people have commented to me here
and in person about my shorts
like im gonna fucking dress up cos im in america
this is who i am
this olde weather beaten aussie in his shorts
the guy who writes the best lyrics of their type in the world
the 54 year old who can heft a fender bass bawl his lungs out
and run around for 2 n half hours while hardly missing a stroke
the mofo who got off heroin n can swim 2 miles or walk a hundred leagues
i see the people around me n i am fiercely proud
of my own individuality
i am a bondi beach beachcomber
my popinjay days are long dead
i dress how i fucking well like n i still look better than most of em
this is me
can you see the real me
can you bear the real me
on this tour i talk with lawyers
i talk with doctors
i talk with architects n big tycoons
i talk with mechanics and carpenters
i talk to young chicas n old grannies
i talk to educated hopped up ponces
i talk to to redneck strugglers
i am fucking everyman
on the edge of everytown
you wanna get obvious
im fucking obvious
you wanna get esoteric
i m fucking esoteric
and i tell you this
I LOVE MY FANS
I LOVE MY FANS AND THEY MAKE ME FEEL INADEQUATE
and i want to give more n more n more
and everything i fucking well have
my last blister my last sore throat my last song
i love my fans
the new ones
the old ones
the shy ones
the blustering over the top ones
i did all this for you
i had this within me
i assembled this band
i gave this to you because very few others could
there is a message in my music and this is it
in a nutshell
THIS IS A VERY STRANGE LIFE AND EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE
i wasnt raised with no silver spoon
my mum n dad are the salt of the earth british working class
i got my arse out here to play you this music
with my cohorts
the extraordinary tp mwp n pk n now even lil cw
we are the fucking bidness childe
and we care so much that we're arguing all day to get it better
we havent had one decent chance to learn any new songs since aust tour
we run on a tight shoestring budget
we stay in ok best westerns
we drive vans
yesterday i lived on bananas n peanuts n coffee
THER WAS NO VEGAN FOOD ANYWHERE
we do it hard n tough
and nobody bitches about it
im fucking nearly 55 and i aint no spring chicken
i'll do anything to make a gig
but i wont see people nodding off at wheels
if thats cos i aint got "balls" so be it
ah
so many anecdotes to tell ya
but maybe another time
tonite the mile high city
yeah denver, bob
the church hope to be smokin'
sk
ps bring me some jazz records if you gottem...

not going to kansas city, kansas city here i dont come

k.c. got cancelled
it was a logistical nightmare
we would have to stay awake impossibly
and drive dangerously sleepy n tired
ok if you have a coach
it would have been foolish to attempt it
im sorry
im sorry to people who made travel arrangements
im sorry to people who were coming
we deeply apologise for any problems caused
i am very very tired
we drove 12 hours yesterday
still vibrating
no time to do anything
hopefully
a bigger better blog tomorrow
sk

inevitability

the road
the road baybee
like i never got off it
the road going on n on
another best western
another struggle with my suitcase
hey
i use my machine today
and it really works
the lines soften and kinda go smoother
wow...it really works....instantly....
what do you know.....
gremlins and jinxes
a terrible truck accident between wherever we were and portland
hazardous waste
someone definitely died i 'd say
puts things into perspective
we drive on thru the days n nights
pine trees n little mountains
we stop at black bear restaurant
the waitress asks :
what do you all do?
i say (indicating trevor our lighting man) :
hes a male stripper n we're his backing band
(an old old gag)
the waitress stands staring at trevor
who doesnt look like much of the stripper type
finally she blurts out half laughing :
thats freakin' awesome!!
i do my yoga faithfully thru thick n thin
i watch a video about my new cosmetic machine
i try to sleep but i wake up early
i hear the birds tweeting at dawn
i look in the mirror
sometimes astonished by how old or how young i look
how fuckin' weird to be 54 and be me
doing this of all things
dressing up in black jeans n jumping around
shouting out these meaningless/full songs
not eating much
not sleeping much
missing my wife n family so much
scarlet gets on the phone n wails n sobs
i miss you daddy please come home from 'merica now
i'm sitting here now backstage in portland
we are in a very pine trees n quaint old 2 story house district
the sun pours pleasantly in the window
the summer is mild so far and gentle
it reminds me of sweden sitting here in this room
typo-ing away
trying to figure it all out
my place in the uni(corn)verse
havent eaten yet but must do
at truck stop saw a terribly obese man
leaning against a car like he was having a heart attack
hed just bought a three gallon cup of coca cola
a lot of people look sick here
its the kfc n big macs
its the sodas n the sausages
you see, with my american family back home
i feel sad for america
not in a snobby superior way
but as a close friend seeing someone getting unhealthy
i love americans by n large
theyve always fucking treated me fair n square
my wife is an american
and quite frankly
i wouldnt have it any other way
there are 2 parallel americas
theres the great mass of soda gulping sickies
who dont know where england is on a map (approx 70 %)
then theres your dylans n verlaines n morrisons
and theres your writers n actors n cool people
and never the twain shall meet
the best n the worst : america
the nice people so nice
the 'orrible ones so 'orrible
anyway
the usa doesnt give a flying deficit what i think
and who else does?
its already 5 17 and the day has evaporated before my eyes
never to come again
the afternoon sun is so cheerful tho
and the overgrown gardens...
tonight
more superglue for my finger
we leave after show
driving to seattle
where we play some radio show in morning
more long dark dangerous drives
hoping tonite may be a good gig
interviewer : what will you do tonite?
me : come out rocking n try to kick a goal
are you fit ?
fit for nothing
are you gonna win?
i can only hope so
but.........

down at the end of ,like, merlin street

san francisco
we fumbled
we bumbled
we stumbled
technical difficulties derail us
we lose our momentum
i become derailed demoralised
i become unfocussed
my genii frees himself and pisses off
and sits in the rafters laughin'
ricky maymi says "dont put that"
why not?
weve just been to the apple shop where i
bought a new computer
having obtained a bitta van advance
tim bought a bigger n better one than me
good on 'im then, eh?
yeah san fran had its moments
it did
some great bits
i put super glue on the blister, sister
but as it inexorably peels off
my fingers were sticking to the strings
and getting stuck
then the blister came back into contact
with the strings
and it was fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
i was disappointed
if you liked the show
if you did
then i take nothing from your enjoyment
unfortunate conditions
we tried n we failed
nevermind
next we have long drive to portland ore-gone
takes 2 days
my sat night
sitting or driving van in u.s. wilderness
i love you guys
killer!

twitching like a drug in a pharmacy

sitting here backstage in sf
with mr ricky of all people
last night ....la
L.A.
well we were ok
not the absolute bees knees
but we were ok
yeah ok is ok, ok
i dunno
i almost transcended but not quite
a few hours sleep
no real dinner
and 2 gigs in a day
will do that to a 54 year old prophet of rock
nevertheless
there we were delivering intelligentle ravishing rock
with all the best words n music my brains could buy
tim powles had an heroic night
a huge sweeping swathe of percussive thunder
god....these guys can really play
after gig no rick springfield
duh?
we hang around for a while
n then we're off to lebec ca for the night
like half way to sf
i get to bed circa 430 in morning
i wake up at 7 n cant go back to sleep
i do yoga
n we drive to sf
too many people here now to write anymore
too much chatter
must do interview
soundcheck
have massive blisters on my fingers which got soft
and bass strings rip my flesh
you need calluses n i lost mine
each pluck i silently say fuck
gonna have to try something like methylated spirits
but no one in the states knows what that is
it turns blisters into calluses
or that liquid bandage goop
i should try my wonder gizmo on it
yes we did do an i/view with hustler
it aint no joke
dont hate me for it
we didnt talk about t n a just r n r
tonite
flowers in our hair
hare in our flour
i sing the body empathetique
i sing the wholly manchtra
i sing so i exist
i exist to sing
a song bout you
breathe in
breathe out
rock to the east of the west
the least in the most
steve kilbey too much too late
goodbye l.a.
gotta lotta other places to glow

suffer for a groovy lil happening

solana beach
well.....
it was a rocky start
rocky in as
i feel like a bit punch drunk
we had many teknicle ishues
we made mistakes
tim had the mother of all headaches
we had a late n difficult soundcheck
we just didnt pull it off
sometimes even masterchefs get it wrong
it wasnt bad
but it didnt transcend
i need to transcend
i need to be swept off my feet
n i neeed to enter that sweet zone
that zone one must enter alone
that world you looking for all the time
i need that and i could not find it last nite
no transcendence
anyway
it wasnt bad
and thats good i guess
in spades
anyway
im sitting here backstage at the roxy theatre
im sitting here with a real authentic new york agent
and his name is ben shprits
and hes only twenty seven
and we drove round la in his white mustang
and his blackberry rang
n billy corgan apologised cos he aint coming tonight
n the traffic was jammed
and the jam was jelly
and the jelly in my eyes like a dead dogs custard
and we pulled into hollywood
and who am i?
hollywood : you are an olde geezer in shorts in a mustang
and blow me down i only had 4 hours sleep
and we blow into KCRW n play some songs
and guess what i find out later its being filmed
and did you see my sacred calves
and did you hear us talking
and we played our music
were we any good?
voice in another room : better than lassanite at any rate
and wow
i havent even gotten a chance to play around with my
cosmetic machine yet
i been so busy
we drove till 4 15 after gig
me n tim upfront listening to
the sweet
lou reed
sparks
and a loada stuff offa the "best glam rock record ever"
my cosmetic machine n its goo
sit in my hapsack throbbing with puissance
ready to un-age me
but havent had a chance yet
to electrolite my skin
but guess what
the machine helped my tinnitus
that free treatment i got on sunday nite
has helped my tinnitus...can ya be-leave it?
(youth worshipper a ha ha ha)
anyway
imagine it
hollywood
cosmetic machine
no corgan
but rick springfield is coming
and tiredness
n strawberry coughing
n my new york agent n his white mustang
n his blackberry goes peep peep beep blip blip
the ac goes whirr whirr
n we playing with van der graph generator soon
n we werent so good last night
we so sorry
maybe
just maybe
tonite will be the night
we hammer hollywood into submission
we sell our murch
we laugh and we fuckin' get outta town
yeah
n the smog
n the people
n the tension
n the money
n the ...
ah what the hell would i know...
my nameis kilbey
i was born to rock like this
its how they made me
wired to the gone world
see me rock on the radio
whats next?
an interview with hustler

as i ride down highway 101...

like a leopard messiah
like a white lightning bolt
like a snort of amnesia up all of yer noses
like honey
like velvet
like powdered unicorn horn
like the vines and lianas
like the summer and the winter
like orpheus in his underpants
like a panther on vaseline
like an electric charge that jolts yer womb
like a slave to the rhythm of love
like a master with his finishing touches
like a lemurian temple slut
like the phosphorescent rim of the sun
like candy from a baybee
like a double shot
like a chinese burn
my little wander
makes me feel kinda fonda
i am a rock i am an island
i am yer fix and yer connection
i am sitting here patiently
i play bass and i sing
i am so old and younger still
i was born yesterday
the barsted son of shakespeare and annie oakley
the brother of sir galahad
the father of the moon
the husband of the goddess of cocaine
the lover of exquisita
the determiner of sex
the worlds forgotten bouy
in solana beach
in so cal
in north america
with my white beard
i aint a'feared
with my freckled skin
you know jus' where i been
i'm over it
i'm under it
i am everywhere
see
everywhere at once
i wish i was me
dont you

very quick one

rehearsal is a drag
bored
ringing ears
goes slow
eat unhealthy rubbish
laze around feeling 'orrible
rehearsing in king louis 14ths studio
somewhere in the middle of nowhere
no phone
no net
no nothin'
lotsa noise
my eye blurry still
yes the creme n machine did work
but my tragic old face back to norbal now
(sigh)
off to rehearse again
feel unsafe on the road
the construction is grinding away as we speak
(same as it ever was)
peace n quiet elude me
jet lagged n with a cold
i feel miserable
i hate holiday inns
i hate touring
i hate waiting
i hate the noise
i hate my fucking shelf
(my id keeps falling off it)
eager to r0cknrollo
but all the rest bores my well toned ass off
miss my pool
miss my fam
miss my indy-pendants
what a moaner, lisa...!
anyway
seems a long way from rnr heaven
driving around
waiting around
the weather is rather chilli for summer
my feat are cold
my cold is in my knows
i'm lonely and tired n hungry
blah blah blag
feel sorry for me
feel very sorry for me
or whatever
you wanna piece of olde sk?
coming soon to a venue neer you
with love!

yeah ....now i'm here

yeah baybees
im in the good olde usa
oh take me in promised land
lay yer milk n honey on this poor olde genius
well i'm here in solana beach so cal
in at the mansion of dan c
a very nice geezer whose read the bible
(cept for the boring bits of leviticus)
he had a veggie bar be queue
and i had a veg patty n a veg hot dog
a guy here has just used the latest gizmo n goo on my face
half my face is sposed to look younger now...but does it?
i tried the strawberry cough
i played pool
tomorrow we begin to re-hurse
a necessary evil
i apologise to my ears
i dream about mickey rourke
i walk on the slightly cold for summer beach
peter n trevor n i go to a juice bar
i have wheatgrass shot
i have mango peach blah blah smoothie
i wander round solana beach market
where you could buy life size leather dogs (why!?)
you could have
reiki
insurance
paint
toe rings
massage
yoga
pilates
woodlined stash boxes
cactii
boy scouts
church (not us)
un-ageing treatments
acupuncture
credit cards
rubber band guns
education
cancer research
great and hideous art
uka-laylees
etc etc
we drive through winding canyon roads
my hotel is next to a construction site (as i foretold!)
a kid starting runnin round n bouncing a ball
at 7 am sunday morning
when i try to sleep of jet lack....
solana beach is like avalon beach kinda
thats it
stay tuned
this is the online diary of a rocknroll tour
sk

only the time being can reconcile everything

it is my destiny...
voice in another room : oh gawd....
it is my destiny to pull it all together
right here and now in this age
armed with a four string subduer and my hoarse velvet voice
pushing sixties years old
i defy old age with yoga
i defy olde age though he lines my face
against old age
against hypocrisy
against the "straights"
against the philistines n the hoi polloi
against the great unwashed riff raff mess mass of humanity
against nature and against time itself
it has become beholden upon me
oh god i see it oh so clearly now..
voice in another amsterdam cafe : i'll have what that guys on
it behooves me to take up this mantle
truly a blurred crusade especially now
to take up this aesthetic challenge
to fucking reconcile the lot
in one grande slam package
which will be the church in the us circa 2009 a.d.
hopefully
or maybe just some tunes you like
voice in another zone : the stuffs wearing off
there is no message
there is no timeframe
there is no story
there is no equivalent
its the church
rocking for thirty years straight not out
we were blasting their wigs off
while some of you were still tiddlers in yer nursery
authenticity....sure
how much do ya want ...i'll get it delivered
you want a load of albums everyone a solid gold classic
you want a sweet racket of electronic wise men on ambrosia
you want songs about the distance and the time
you want childhood to come back and smell the warm nights
and the chlorine pool as you fondled some squeeze
listening to under the milky way
you want excruciating dumb hammering
you want filigree lace patterns woven by 2 guitars in thin air

you want those whispered winged words you been waiting to hear
i am he the real authorised dealer in my schtick
beware of flattering imitations
we are beyond it all
we simply do not exist in any of those worlds
we speak through our sound
our songs are there for you to assimilate
our songs become part of our life
you find yourself living them
they expand to admit all of you
though you may never bump into each other
within pangaea where everything is one again
all is one
the players the listeners the songs
i sing the songs you all have necessitated me to sing
the songs we needed to hear
a beacon in a lettuce and tomato sandwich
a signpost for us lost souls
us fools who heard rock
and our little hearts whispered
oh here is something for us
we believed in rocks power to offer salvation
a wiping clean of the slate
a vision of all that is to come
the power and glory of jehovah as played by a fender jazz(master)
the sweet intensity of unendurable love
the melancholy of a deserted australian beach on a cold grey day
the sorrow of parting
the rush of crystalline desire
when your beloved appears unclad before you
the memories of the mysteries
inducing that euphoric elegaic state of rupture/rapture
i am a technician of moods
i study the weather in your head
and i draw forth the rain and the shine
and you will cry but not know why
all these tricks i mastered long ago
when i was almost everyone else
now i am me again
you do not know me
you can not know me
nobody can truly know me
i am a spirit resting just inside this man
i reside in his pineal gland
where by my force n charge of life i empower this material to move
when i withdraw all will rapidly fall apart
so i move my man towards his mission
towards his own goal for this lifetime
to create something beautiful
to create something soothing and wonderful
not abrasive
not obvious
not rehashed trash
something elusive
something everyone will understand yet still sublimely subtle
i was an ordinary man
until the spirit of rock nudged into the drivers seat
yeah i got dual controls
and jewel controls too
you better believe this
there are few in the world who can now rock like the church
see it believe it
listen and weep
i aint selling you a load a hokum now
we are gonna reconcile everything you ever liked about anything
its all gonna be in there now
you will experience something unearthly
we will pull from you what you did not know you had
we will insinuate thoughts into your head
tiny seeds will grow n grow and explode into .....
whatever whatever whatever
yeah...you wanna piece of me....?
bring yer fucking cheque book
cos once you seen me
with my foot up on the monitor
youre gonna wanna pur-chase everything i ever or never did
youll see i'm a poet n an actor and a astronaut with travel sickness
i can finally say i am the real deal
and if i aint
then who the fuck is?

the difference between close and near

i'm still not satisfied
i never have been n i never will
i wanna explain myself
i wanna explain this whole damn thing
i wanna explain why we are neither created by jehovah nor evolution
i wanna explain how this illusion is penetrated
i wanna call out for mercy and for peace on earth
no unnecessary killings please
anywhere by anyone to anything
yeah and keep our new l.p. on the amazon charts
yeah king fred summons old bach
yeah my mind has fractured
this is really how it is
i aint pretending with you now
get thee on thy stomach
and go about in dust alleth your days
i turn rods into serpents for my own back
yes i am the snakeman from your dreams
cold and hard like coiled steel flexing round the world i squeeze
the spirit of rock has filled me
the spirit of rock has taken me
it waits in my cortex the killer
it spirals out as i hit the stage
as the first note hits the atmosphere
the spirit of rock says
NOW ROCK TO THE EAST
NOW ROCK TO THE WEST
NOW YOURE ROCKING INNA HOUSE OF BLUE LIGHT
and lo and be hulled
and low and be held
and white happy moses drank the rich rice milk in vineland
and he led his people to a beautiful gig
and he said wait here for i must prepare
and so he retired to his wilderness room
where the burning bush appeared before him
for a long time he communed with the bush
and he learned of the mysteries of rock
its deep subtleties that can invoke ecstasy
but his followers grew restless
and said amongst themselves
he does not talk to us
he does not embrace us
he does not cherish us
but how were they the riff raff to know
the old man had much cherished his dear ones around the world
for 30 summers n winters it was said
he had led them through the nothingness
and at last had he delivered them here
24 hour deliverance he guaranteed himself in rock n roll
and after three long decades
moses had not withered or over ripened
but had fully matured as a receiver
no longer a grim or dim receiver
but a true receiver
and as he receives
he reflects back
and by a subtle art unbeknownst to any
a combination of ideas
by a movement
by a sudden intensity
by a flexing of muscle
by a slackening of tension
by a thrust or retreat
by a flurry of information
by words which will pierce your brosnan
by everything included
and by everything left out
by the way the drums are beaten to death
by the way the guitars howl like monkeys with rabies
by the way racket seems to come from everywhere at once
but its a controlled howling racket
its not a sloppy amateurish racket
its the spirit of rock and its mean and inchoate
but we got four master(bator)s here
controlling its possible explosion into absurdity
holding it right there
there on the brink
right there on the very edgiest edge
in the twilight world
where nothing means anything
and anything means everything
and as we play we will hammer you with poignance till you drop
you wont know why
you wont be able to decipher it
it will happen too fast
like a drunk slugger from a pub
versus
a nimble kung fu wolfe
we will disarm you and have you down
before you even know where you are
loud and stupid and brutal
suddenly that will make sense
simple and throbbing
then the words start up
oh they are not simple my friend
they are your own mirror
to see yourself and all i did was the frame
me?
i"m a desert wind in a telephone box
i dial yer #s up
i pick yer locks
i have transcended
i am not what i ever was before
you will see
you will see
the spirit of rock has taken me now
i invited it in so long ago
but i had to be truly ready
for he has inhabited so very very few before me
i have had a almost 40 year apprenticeship
until just so very recently
when he did fly into me mid song
and takeover and merger
and oh god the spirit of rock is truly infallible
none of you will ever know this feeling i guess
i'm sorry but i sacrificed everything so that i may rock
now lo
it hath come to pass
the spirit will say
ROCK TO THE NORTH
ROCK TO THE SOUTH
ROCK LIKE A BITCH
ROCK LIKE A BASTARD
ROCK LIKE HONEY
ROCK LIKE FIRE
ROCK LIKE VELVET
ROCK LIKE SEX
ROCK LIKE LIFE
ROCK LIKE DEATH
the spirit of rock where do you cometh from ?
ASK NOT ! says the spirit in a vox ac 30 voice
ok spirit of rock
i say
cowering in the spirits presence
i will not unleash it again until i play
let my people wonder then at signs they hear in my sounds
in my voice let them hear the voice of everyman
and let them know me by any secret name they choose
and let them buy tickets and murch and trinkets and cds
and let them come back again n again
and clap n cheer and grin from ear to ear
oh spirit of rock......
soon
soon
i will give you your freedom again...
and then
you can do whatever you like
with me

lotta soul he said

eye quack says
you damaged yer jelly my boy
50 per cent chance yer vision will always be blurry in that eye
he takes apart his model eye
and he explains how my jelly is no longer clear but clouded
clouded jelly in my eye
makes things furry my oh my
makes me curse n makes me sigh
clouded jelly in my eye
it accounts for the spots too and the snaky shadows
it accounts for the music that pours into me unbidden
it accounts for the new panther
reborn from the ashes
like a phoenix rising from a river
up from the pavement and into the stars
ad astra as my friend jules caesar used to say
this clouded jelly got me slurring n blurring my furry words
this miasma opaque
this retinal fog
this " you mean my right eye gonna look like this?"
this its like a tinitus for the eye
a permanent blur
feel like i'm in a play
feel like the projectionist 'as been drinkin'
feel like panicking....oh no oh no oh
feel like getting real high
like a fly
that you spy
when you die
as you pass by
on your way thru to the sky
you say "hi"
and then
"bye"
dont start me rhymin' ha ha ha de ha
there goes old rhymin' kilbey they say
as i dance down bondi road dressed up in my suit o' words
and i chuck out free poems to the myriads of lil' kids
who follow me along
chuckling with sheer delight
i come to the sea
the blue sea with my hanky on my head
like les down at bloody 'astings just after the war
coz after all i'm a pommy bastard after all
that means a little inglish migrant kid
ashamed of my dopey pronunciation
in the land of the aussie he-men
so because of that
50 years later
a bottle of ricca donna explodes its corky
right into my jelly filled eyeball
and
COMPRESSED IT UNBEARABLY
never mind says shiva
open up yer third eye and behold
some other god said yer credit rating is
yoga vs drugs and its a one all draw
no i said crying and running distraughtly thru the doctors offices
which had turned into a dark scandinavian forest
a troll pursued me thru the firs
his breath turning to steam
run doodles i scream to my 2 kids who are there
but i cant see them clearly now
i can only see the left one not the right one
we arent the doodles....we're the twillies....
i look closely
2 eighteen year old eye-dent-ickles
the apples of my good eye
daddy have you been drinking ? they ask
as i turn around to look for the troll
and the eye quack is there with his secretaries
thank goodness man he says
as a helicopter lowers down onto the roof
someone slips a needle into my arm
and i feel some narcotic ooze fill me with its slime
they help me into the helicopter
i'm all helpless
like clouded jelly
like blancmange all vanilla and wobbly n bobbly
i sit in my seat like a good boy
as we lift off from bondi junction
and out over clovelly and then out to the wild grey sea
from out of the sky
comes a white hot solid gold thunderbolt of lightspeed lightnin'
it penetrates our ship like marlon brandos knife thru butter
it pinpoints my eye
and it enters my head so damn slowly
my brain at last hotwired to the sky
i explode in a kind of orgasmic implosion
that sends bits of me to the far flung regions
beyond the reach of your puny languages
what do you know? i'm not mad
i'm an alien saviour with a rocknroll message
i'm a reincarnation of dante with a fender base
i'm a rhythm breaking fool with that non ending spool
the light spake to me
just like zara thruster
yeah it said
one word
it
said
ROCK!
no way i said
it cant be that easy ...
but....
yet...
ROCK! the light commanded me again
will my jelly get better?
will my butter get jolly?
will i haul my decks with howls n brollies
JUST FUCKIN" ROCK spake the light
jesus de luz
jesus de luxe
jesus d christ
you see
the light was jesus
and jesus was saying
ROCK!
but whattabout my jelli jesus ..i moaned thru the cyclonic hurry-caine
do you need yer jelly to ROCK? the sun of man asked
no ....i said
but what about....
i realised i was in a hospital bed
a drip up my nose
a drip up my arm
a drip up my ankle
drip drip but never drop
my mum n dad sat there looking concerned
mum had something on a plate
it was crimson n it wobbled
its your jelly son they said
oh no i said falling backwards into anaesthesia
deep and warm tho it was i wandered in its semi oblivion
half blinded
my ears still ringing miles above on the outside
where i suddenly pushed up from the sea bed
and burst thru a silver surface
and i truly clambered into the sky
steering by the cloudy jelly like clouds
my cameras filmed away thru their vaseline lenses
i was a free spirit
i was a swimmer in a vast sparkling pool
i was surrounded by music all of it so magnificent
it would make our grandest symphony sound like a squeak
jehovah appeared in his glory
and he was like ...glorious...
and angels
everywhere
olive trees
grapes
trellises flowers
new eden
lemuria
its all connected up says old jehovah
and he smiles
and i say
errr...what about my jelly jehovah
and he says
go forth and rock yer best
and come back n see me soon
i descend home with a police n angel escort
heavens devils
and i wake up
here
typing away
and still i say
what about my freaking jelly?

we should be on by now

that night i dreamed
i dreamed i was a musician
some strange old slightly special musician
although i didnt feel special
out of favour with the times
banished from the courts
struggling through some heavin' land
setting up in dark suspicious places
we played to the riff raff n the hoi polloi
we played to the professors and their ladies
we appeared before the kings of baltic states
we were in ballrooms and beer rooms
and we made our sound in a house of ill reproof
but a voice said
a voice in another place
a time not before or after but hyper-during
while you read this line
in that other time
things may be faster or slower depending
this voice
it told me what i should do
and it said
you must play
the fetters must be smashed
you must make your music harder and softer
the intervals must seem like chasms if you want em to
you must concentrate on every line never rushing ahead or behind
you must see each story unfold as you sing it
you must enjoy it everytime
lose yourself
forget yourself
immerse yourself
refresh yourself
can you rock like a king? the voice asked
can you rock like a snake or a lark?
can you rock like a bitch/bastard buttkickin' whatnot?
can you be tender like the inside of a loveletter
can you be you you you you
i took my axe
someone said
hey you
when you goin' on?
i shrugged n indicated my mates
they all shrugged n indicated me
ok i said
we strode on and the people clapped n whistled
some of em rushed down the front
some called out individual names
i ran on n plugged in
the sound of a huge mechanical bird taking flight
began to start up
my cohorts hammered at their axes
the audience moaned in surprise
as we started to achieve liftoff momentum
my instrument was a pulse
a beacon in a maelstrom of sturm und drang
the shiver of thin pieces of metal
their vibrations shortened and lengthened
a heartbeat thudded in the centre
the voice begins to tell me what to do
rock to east it says
now rock to the west
the voice goes on shouting instructions above the melee
and....

im standing there on that stage
the place now empty
a few tired people cleaning up the mess
no sounds echo round n round
someone taps me on the shoulder
c'mon man...we're leaving now

always some new hoop

always some new test
that golden egg
that gift horses mouth
that silver lining
that meal ticket
that loop hole
something niggling you
voices whispering reasons to be unhappy
nothing is ever enough
too much
too little
they are abstractions
they are marks in pencil on a door frame
they are the strangers who rented this house before you
they are the vague faces who will sleep in this room
when you are gone
if nothing means anything anyway
why the anxiety
why the nerves
why the ruining things as usual
i got this old car
and its being driven with the handbrake ON
needlessly
pointlessly
going round and round the circuit du jour
my ears hurt
my eyes ring
the outside world becomes harder to apprehend
blabbermouths n idiots blow it away
namby pambies and brutes all around
the wrong place
the wrong world
the wrong road round
i just wanted...
i just wanted...
i just wanted...
ah i cant remember what i wanted...
i cant remember the joy but i sure remember the pain
i live outta a suitcase
or in some seedy gaffe
i ride in a bus or a van or a cheap modern car
i furtively smoke dope and finger my calluses
i watch the names of the towns go by
i drive and ride and drive and ride
we lurch to a halt in a dive downtown
inside it smells of beer and some sweet aftershave stink
the roadies are all bored
the music is too loud
the crowd clap n go home
i drink some booze n smoke some more dope
LET IT KILL ME THEN
back to my luxury room with its railyard view
and its construction site which starts up at 8
but thats ok by then i'll be well away
standing at the queue in subway sandwiches to get my veggie delight
and my bottle water thanks and maybe some crisps
in the van we have an argument over what music to listen to
things turn nasty when a c.d. gets reefed out n defenestrated
i have to listen to the same conversation over n over
as the mobile phones in the van pop on n off
the rain glommed onto the windshield like a viscous jelly
great gusts of wind hammer our van
but we argue on n on
into the grey day speeding away across the great plains
and the back steppes
we pull into some graveyard town where they make memorials
we pull out again and try to find the franchises
starbucks muffins crammed down a gullet
more caffeine
more calories
more dull ache in the coccyx
when i get out for a whizz
the floor seems to go on moving
we arrive late
we leave late
we go on late
and we come off late
tomorrow i'll get woken up early
by a mistaken knock
or a mistaken ring
or by a mistaken world
trying to find me
and then
it will all happen again