at all

something
i must write something
fill up these pages with words
the truth....?
i cant remember
the truth.....
maybe i do elaborate sometimes
dark morning dawns
i sit in my tower
no
i sit in my basement
i sit in my burnt out basement with a....
no
i sit at a deserted beach
i am a handsome young man
i am a mere childe
i see the years stretch out before me forever
i plunge into the black water
its freezing cold but i am indifferent
i sink down down down
my breath fills my lungs to burst
down down down
in the murky coldness with no breath left
i am seized with panic
hideous fish come out to regard me
finally when i can no longer hold my breath
the water enters my lungs like a liquid knife
i splutter and struggle down there
it takes a while i tell you
to drown
i am thinking "how much longer....?"
when it happens
of course
some kind of separation
a dissolving
like an essence pressed from a flower
like steam from water
like smoke from fire
i rise
through the turgid water
through the quiet air
not up but out i go
out of this world
out of this time
out of memory
simply out
i stay out for a long time
a long long long time
although time never passed
it was the time it took here
lifetimes
i suppose
it took lifetimes
no time at all when its over
you realise that
life is but a dream
so i dreamed another
great cities
conquests
parades
ceremonies
murders
betrayals
pain
always pain
i run from the pain
it pursues me life after life
painful lives
painful deaths
so many ways to go
monsters
war
electrocution
darts
poison
fever
stabbed in the dark
blinded by the light
kings fall down
the walls of jericho collapse
babylon overgrown with weeds
nineveh abandoned in the desert
rome goes under
atlantis goes down
we run screaming with our children
the temple of zeus comes down around us
his great golden head crushes the priests
his body tumbles backwards causing mayhem
all is fire
all is whirlpool
all is the roar of the ocean
angered by our vain experiments
drinking us down her violent cold throat
the plates have suddenly shifted
the land vomits us into the sea
an explosion of red hot ashes
the horses run thru the streets maddened
a hole opens up
and yawns
and we are gone
the sea rushes together
and belches up blackened bodies of men and beasts
that float for a while and then sink
and everything is silent
as if it all never happened at all