hurly burly

who cares?
i give up
i give up giving up
i sit on a wall in the shade pulling on my boots
a pleasant breeze ruffles the leaves overhead
the sea was cold
the currents were strong
the rip ran deep
the cold sea like a woman with its moods
a woman like the sea with her deep secrets
green grass blue sky white buildings
everyones on holiday and the dream is beginning
the last of day of school finds you sadder than you thought
the empty classroom left with regrets
the discarded uniform never to be worn again
the music fading in the corridors
one last look around then
finality
childhoods end
the blackboards are all green
the lessons are all over
you return home to live up your new freedom
the phone never rings
you jump in your blue car and drive and drive
out into a wild frontier land and almost beyond
the lake that swallowed the land looms on the left
that swampy smell n children fishing from the bridge
the isle of capri
the land of plenty
homecoming
a beautiful woman is hitch hiking
your head says stop
but your foot goes down heavy on the gas instead
you see her lovely form recede in the rearviewmirror
the eternal separation
the aesthetics of loss
for the next thousand seconds
you cant get it out of your mind
but you drive on into the future awaiting you nonetheless
stopping at a servo
halfway to angel rocks on the old coast road
everything in the dusk has unbearable significance
the man at the register winks knowingly
its almost too much to walk in these darkening pastures
at a picnic table i drink fanta and eat my smiths crisps
the birds in the bush twitter and coo
the creatures in the grass rustle and are silent again
i think about that song
that song that reminds me of you and breaks my heart
suddenly the darkness and aloneness feel so sweet
another car pulls in the servo
a plane flies overhead white n red lights flashing
you get back in and drive on
school has begun
and someone else sits in your old seat
pleasantly cocooned in childhood
the way you never will be again
its nearly lunchtime out there now
and the kids are eating toasted sandwiches and flirting
the teachers in the staff room drinking tea
the rowing team at the regatta
the debaters prepare in the library
but you
you ride this dusty road taking wrong turns
you sit alone in fast food places under fluoro lites
drinking thick shakes
showering in a sea side change room
you catch sight of yourself
a vague stranger
all grown up