a network of lines that interlace

7 20
gee im running late lately
people ask howcome ya get up so early
i dunno
i just do
isnt that a pattern of life
when i was a wee nipper
knee high to a grass hopper
i jumped outta bed at the crack o dawn
then as a teenager n youf
i slept in all day
as a young man i reviled the dawn
and i'd be angry if anyone rang before eleven
now in my twilight years
it seems to behove me to get up nice n early
tap out my foolish blogg
etc etc
yessaday nk says did you see the drunken ant?
sure enuff
a loada ants are up around the cap of the jagermeister
sucking on whatever little crusty stuff they can find there
then a whole bunch staggering around the bottle
and i aint seen em since
i feel sorry for these ants
its cold outside and theyre mopping up in my kitchen
so i aint had the heart to squash em
but anyway
the j meister seems to have slowed em down a little
you can imagine em all staggering back to the queen
queen" what have you brought me, drones???"
ant "well ya shee ya majeshty its like thishhh...."

anyway the ants are all gone
i hope they didnae die of alcoholic poisoning
also i feel bad that some of our german readers
think ive jumped on some rocknroll bandwagon
and started drinkin' the j meister
as someone said it used to be a drink for grandads
well thats me fiendss
could easily be a grandad
and thats the side of me
enjoying a medicinal nip of an evening
not a billy idle motorbike riding rocker
slurping it down in a l.a. bar

been chucking my cd collection into eye choons
a wearying task
be glad when its over
have not actually "done' anything yet
since i been home
the thought of that five weeks in the u.s.
making me preternaturally weary
in advance
all those drives n flying
makes me nervous, i can tell ya
so many things to figure out
(how many pairs of socks to take...etc)
im knackered just by thinking of it...
scarlet starting to say dad dad dad
and shes turning out to be quite a drama queen
yessaday as soon as i put her down she started carrying on
seems like she was the queen of sheba in her last life
cos shes gotta bad attitude if everythin' aint revolvin' around her
shes got a big head and a big bum
and she had her first go in a high chair yessaday
hardly scintillating stuff is it...?
but thats the thing with babies
no good quoting andre breton or rimbaud to a baby
doesnt matter how cool or educated or hip or whatever
babies dont care
they get angry n sad n ya gotta figger out whats wrong
i say to scarlet
dont lay no boogie woogie on the king of rocknroll
but she doesnt think its funny
she just goes on carrying on
trying to touch my lapptopp even now as i type this to ya
even as we speak
eve and aurora are all caught up in a movie
(or film as we used to say)

called the adventures of shark boy and lava girl
which they watch over n over
and youre not allowed to say aurora hassa crush on sharkboy either
or people start runnin' around and yellin'

years ago i signed a bad publishing deal
with a greedy crooked swine
20 years later they still ripping me off
so yessaday i tried humanitarian approach
with the company who got me 3rd hand
after greedy crooked swine exited the bizness
this contract is so fucked up
why didnt ya getta lawyer to look at it
i hear yall scream
well, i did
unfortunately it was a lawyer the greedy crooked swine recommended
and guess what?
he was greedy crooked lawyer
cos the deal couldnt have been worse...it was impossible
every clause does the opposite of what it was supposed to do
and they stitched me up for fucking ever
even on pluto
even if i change sex or become a giraffe
they still got me by the ye olde balls
so yessaday i tried humanitarian approach
dear sir
i suffered for 20 years
i got 5 daughters
please let me go...
please....?
pretty please....??!!

i'll let ya know what happens fiendss
if they dont comply
and im sure they wont
im gonna give ya their email address
and you can petition em for me
with letters like
if you dont let olde sk go
then we the undersigned will think
the music biz is made up of
fat greasy greedy lying smarmy useless bastards
ruthlessly robbing the talent of their dues
while yerselves cant write play or sing
youre parasites on the abilities of others
and you devise legal but immoral ways
of keeping the fairly earned money of yer betters
hiding in bigg corporations
cynically raking in others cash
and figuring out schemes to deprive em of it

signed sks loyal fiend
blah blah blah

i tell ya its true
most of the scum in the bizness are pathetic
the sort you wouldnt speak to twice
if he wasnt holding all the cards n purse strings
i revile em
i think theyre the lowest
and i'll bite their hands whenever i getta chance
they ARE some good guys
but most are bloodsucking pigs
and
I KID THEE NOT!

anyway
a little bile for brekky, fiendss
im off to the pool to cool down
(it could be under 15...i dont care..bring it on)
surely today is the day
i get some work done
i love ya
sk

dwarfed by spires and tangled towers

yeah yeah
here you are
what took ya so long?
cold morning
at the lapptopp
(obviously)
yessaday the pool was 15.1 degrees
oh to immerse yerself in cold clear salty water
what a feeling of elation after my 20 lapps
no wonder those dolphins are playing around all the time
from the icebergs you can see the whales n dolphins
and it makes me so sad that a couple of despicable crooked countries
are still fuckin' with the rules
and trying to kill more creatures like this
no one wants it!!
but how do we stop it...
OBVIOUSLY THEYRE NOT TAKING THE WHALES FOR RESEARCH
AND EVEN IF THEY WERE< FUCK EM
COS NEITHER WE NOR THE WHALES NEED ANY RESEARCH
we just gotta sit back and watch these idiots n criminals
harpooning whales, clubbing dolphins n seals etc
this is how things are and have always gone wrong
gone wrong
bad things being done by a greedy stupid powerful few
that are perpertrated on the nice n gentle people n creatures
most of us just wanna live our lives...
always someone bendy bendy with the rules
talks ya into why loadsa badde stuff has to happen
some carnivorous gooseball told me
that
the cows should be thankful that humans breed n slaughter em
"or there wouldnt be so many everywhere"

right on!
thats the kind of self satisfied idiocy that gets things killed
still no one can tell me why all those young men had to die
in europe i1914 1918
but at the time
at the time
fiendsss
i bet they had all kindsa good reasons
youd bee considered a fool or traitor to have argued back
its the same with this whaling bizness
how can ya blast harpoons into something like a whale
and drag it back home
cut its guts open
use bits n pieces
its so obscene
its so inhuman
is that all the fuck that we're good for
inflicting that kind of agony on creatures like these
they aint fish
theyre probably smarter than everyone reading these words
and sneaky little nasties figger out ways to keep it goin'
greenpeace and the other dudes actually physically opposing it
well
they are the real life heroes
the actual putting their selves on the line guys
cos somebody has to...


in other matters
youll be happy to know ive reached a terrible torpor
a state of inertia fiendss
a la all things work related
not getting anything done
day go by
days go by
suddenly oh...
that was wednesday
and shes gone
and i never asked her why
or anything
you see im badde with schedules n deadlines
they make me lose track of time n probability
my daughter minna says
the thing i hate about school is that theres always this
big looming important assignment causing this constant
feeling of agitation n anxiety in the background...
and as soon as youve done it
theres a new one to do
why does school have to be like that
shes right!
we start piling the anxiety on early
on the kidss
my kids school is real nice
everyone is real nice
the kids are real nice
but ultimately its the system
teaching ya how to cope with
and how to be a cog
in the great machine
let em compete n compare
let em learn whatever we think we know as facts
slowly but surely you got em
they never gonna question the whole shebang
what can ya do?
i dunno
i got no alternatives
the balls rolling now
gonna take someone younger n stronger n smarter n richer
than me
to figure out the way out
i just sing a few songs
write a few bloggs
waste my time in the sun
and the sea
when im gone
be like i almost never was here
and thats that
sk

outside this dream her sister frequents, like a cobweb catching fragments

oohhh naughty boy sk
you slept in you crazy olde rocker
man its already 7 06
yessaday sk walking past ye olde liquor store
was guided by voices to buy a lovely bottle of
jagermeister
(for medicinal purposes)
and it seems the damn stuff has made me sleep in
a herbal liqueur...it must be good for ya right?
jesus that taste
feel like ive been tasting that that for thousands of years
like if youd dropped into some witches place
in the middle of the forest
in the middle of the middle ages
she woulda given ya something like this
to warm the cockles of yer heart
black thick bitter stuff
mmm-mmmm
nk says whatcha doin' drinkin liquor in the afternoon?
i say its ok, its herbal...
jonny z drops around
he has some too
its ok its herbal....
more after dinner
(a soy cheese pizza from the lil gourmet pizza shop!)
its ok its herbal
and a spliff
its ok its herbal too
then your humble bumpkin
has a last look thru yonder emails
uh oh
seems i have an interview tuesday nite
but....thats tonite
summoning george the 007 of taxi drivers
who arrives dead on the money
he delivers your slightly worse fer wear hero
to 2 ser in downtown syddley
on the 26 floor of some scraper
(sk hates elevators)
i arrive miraculously on time
and stroll into an interview
with john e.
whos playing chruch vinyl singles
and getting me to comment on em
well with the jagermeister and herbal auxillary
yer humble hippy foole waxes loquaciously
fer an hour on all things primitive chruchy
weird to see them little black singles goin round
after a few months in eye choons land
she never said our first single...what a giggle
then sisters n tear it all away....turning into ourselves at last
blah blah blah
talking about the olde daze
what happened to richie ploog
hes a gardener
etc etc
ole sk waltzes off into the good night
blow me down if george the 007 of all taxi drivers
aint waitin' out the front
what service
and a scintillating conversation about men n women too
george, as some great sage once said,
love is a battlefield
its never gonna be exactly how ya want it
thats the obstacle course, fiendss
men n women
part of the obstacle course
you'll get yer chance to play all the parts
look at me surrounded by women
a lone male voice in a house full of female jive
would i want it any other way?
hell no
but sometimes i wish there was occaisionally another bloke
so i could say
didja just hear that?
here have another jagermeister..
its ok, its herbal....
speaking of women
the doodles have escaped the liftoff velocity of their warm beds
and are roaming about now
getting into trouble
new colouring books
and markers ready
i guess thats probably the end of it then
today...swimming
(getting cold in yon poole fiendss
can ya dig 16 degrees for half n hour)
gotta sort out my messy studio room
its disgustin
an explosion of receipts, cd's, paints, pastels paper
guitar cases, books etc
cant even move in there now
must get some painting in
commissions to finish...
wonder how the jagermeister is for brekky...?
dont worry, its herbal....
sk

miscellaneousaurus

gooday fiendss
saw johnny cash movie last nite
still dont know much about johnny cash tho
i dont even know what drugs he was taking by the bucketload
and i aint ever seen a dealer of any drugs
who carries his stash around in a big rolled up hankerchief
like your mum'd do for you for school
and ikept thinkin' johnny cash was gonna change into that badde emperor
maximum nastiuss
he was in dat other big movie
(which i didnt mind)
i dunno
it seemed so awfully faked
why spend 10 billion dollars
on making a film
then have them mime the songs
actually the dialogue on most holiwood films
its lip synched
recorded n dubbed in later
by actors watching themselves and trying to match it up...
they dont record the sound usually when they film
or if they do they hardly ever use it...
all the sounds you hear.the cars the cities the crickets
the guns and hands knocking at door
are done later
does this contribute
an olde smarte arse like mee wonders
does this contribute
to most films inability to transcend
suspend yer diss-belief
theres bradley pitt-stoppe
up on the big screen
hes temporary just like achilles
no expense has been spared
theyve spent more on this scene
than the city of sydney makes in parking fines in a year
(shame ! shame! shame!)
the citadels a'burnin'
the evil-doers are a'writhin'
the damsels are a"kissin' n a'cuddlin'
we zoom right in on his lips as he whispers
his final doomed desolate words...
and jesus christ!
the man is a poofteenth of a second
behind his dialoggy
and then it shakes the jaffas rite outta yer packet
that the words you were hearing
were uttered by yon achilles pitt
in the gold star studio, la
probably clutchin' a starbucks
n joshing with the other guys
i dunno
they shatter an already frail illusion
and they treat us like chumps
steven and kilbey give walk the line
a big thumb upndown motion

on sunnaday
i went to see first screening of davey c s
movie overboard
which i did some "music" for
its a lovely horrible film
put me off houseboating(!?) forever
sustained anxiety
aust gothic
i dunno
watch out for it somewhere soon

got 5 dvds werth of jacques froste
from donaldo bee in ye olde middle or is it albert park?
some leafy european suburb of melbourne
living the high life no doubt.....
strange to see that goes without saying...
grant distancing himself hilariously
from my stupid behaviour
on the "set" of our video for t t i w o u
get that reefer away from me
the beleaguered grant mutters
and then complaining about my gold glittery guitar strap
and then backstage in boston or somewhere
in 1991
grants explosive laugh
his everpresent black top
with the little silver zip on the collar
his scornful n withering looks
when the local guys are layin' it on too thick
some live footage of us in paddington
the nite we squabbled with eddie keupper
about who was goin' on last
ok you say
whatta cliche rocknroll squabble
no but ya see
me n grant wanted to go on before smilin' ed
because it was our second gig ever
and ed had a drummer
and they were really good...
but ed smelled a rat
and didnae wanna play after us
cos he wassa stickler for detail
and ye olde contract said before jack frost
and thats how he wanted it
(fair enuff too)
anyway there we are
strummin' away
havin' a bit of a laugh
cos i loved playing live with 'im
anyway
im gonna try
possibly with db s helpman
to make ye olde doco/roco from footage
and handage

lookin at my tour schedule sometimes gloomily
all that travel
all those miles hurtlin' along in metal
in the air
on the ground
all the fuckin' argy-bargy
all the disappointments n successes
all the waiting around
all the airport metaldetectors messin' up my etheric double
all the we need you to fill in this cardn yer rooms not ready yet s
i know
i know
stop complaining
some of us got real jobs
touring is anxiety for me
meeting a load a people
who already think your
a prophet
or
a prick
and im both n im neither
and i hate being rude
but usually am
and i want it to be goode every nite
and i feel rotten for both our sakes
when it doesnae happen
sometimes it just doesnae happen
thats a fact
how can you explain that
and then in other
totally unlikely places
it explodes into a ball of fury n energy
and if you think it aint gonna rock cos we're accoustic
come n give me my money back guarantee
this is pure rock
unsurrounded by the noise
like waterskiing in bare feet
or parachuting without the chute
or bullfighting without the bullshit
insert own sporting cliche here
anyway
back to my anxious complaining
and i know some of you have real hard backbreaking gigs to do
dont you?
do you?
but its a glorious 2 hours
surrounded by 22 other hours of rigmarole
driving in vans
finding yer way in sellersville pa
or oogamalooga in wa
turn right there pete
oh no
now were on the freeway to the airport again
we just by passed nyc completely
and the gig started a half hour ago
and i aint had my vegan ice cream with nondairy chocalate
lashings of toffuti tutti n eggplant soy shakes
i aint checked into my 3 and a quarter stars hotel
you know the one next to the black hole of a construction pit
where the noise starts at 6 30
but that dont matter
cos yer getting up at 5 30 to start driving n flying
to nexttown
and yer cant get yer suitcase closed
and theyve charged you a million bucks to call home
and the others have already had brekky and wanna go
or youre sittin on the bus packed n ready to go
while theyre all asleep in their beddies
do we do instores?
i hate em
no surprise
do they do any goode?
how the hell would i know?
it aint all dancing on clouds
not asking for sympathy fiendss
jus' givin ya a lil insight...
kilbey n.bondi 2006

normalized

good morning you lot
its 7 am on monday morning here
its cold n grey with a little blue showin thru
yessaday i got some stuff in the mail
from some people on here
cst coach wry-un
wow he sends me some magazines he writes for
in which he undertakes gruelling journeys
thru deserts n mountains
and lives to tell the tale and writes about it!
druid, im impressed ok
and thanks for the vid too
im gonna check it out too
you are hereby made duke of all the deserts
(i'll take the desserts)
in kilbey land
i been walking thru the desert
no it musta been the library..

another thanks to mr wil-o
for sending the far out corporation
which i never heard before
grants record with ian from peefinger
(only listened once but its real good)
arise lord wil-o , all you see before you is now yours
i decree it
and let nunn stand in thy way
mr mem
thanks for this weird book, my brother
hmmmm a book about bachs last days with
freddy the great of russia and its a true story
evening in the palace of reason
now sir mem, lord of the northern wastes
forever a prince among men
and editor of a very weird little mag
(sk occaisional contributor too)
mem, what is that mag called?
how can people on here getta copy?
its gonna be right up yer alleys fiendss
i assure ya
and cheers to yer brother the brainey man
stay off the hard stuff mister!
ok
ok
what more
polinski the iconoclastic one
sent me some rare ambient gear
(our shared passion)
AND
talked me thru how to get mp3s into my eye choons
not once
not twice
but 3 times
without losing temper
or sneering at my complete ineptitude
eg
polinski: now click on the arrow
sk : cant i arrow on the click?
polinski: open that file
sk:what file?
polinski : the one ya just clicked on
sk: my screens gone black, is this normal
polinski: is yer computer turned on..
sk; damn, i was doing it to the karoake machine...
etc etc
much merriment ensues
thanks polinski
now i got bahn bahn bahn of the autobahn
going well with my slightly germanic phase
(oh sk loves germany in summer too
wish i was at picnic with manfred n fandorin n carlo
no snakes, no spiders
just lederhausen)
and finally
a copy of vegan voice
with a note from editor handwritten too!!
now this is quite funny
you see id been doing the interviews in parts
over a long period
and in the beginning of the interview
my answers were short n straight
a little unimaginitive i guess
i wassa in ye olde cafe at that stage...
and i hate typing...
anyway 2/3 rds the way thru
the thing
one day i show up at caf
have smoked a little whippet thin spliff
of p n p s finest
ready to become "olde sk"
when malfunktion on bloggy
no can work
so i roam thru my emails
frustrated....hmmmm? whats this
more questions for vegan voive eh???
so instead of getting curt quick steve kilbey
they now gotta sk on the line
going on about this n that
(how i communicate with animals among other things)
all in blogg speak
the lovely interviewer writes back
love yer answers man
but we gonna have to unversify them
itll take up too much room to print em that way
so there i am a right nutcase blathering on
in free prose about the horrors of meaty things
get the article and spot the point
where i change from one into the other
and fuck
i feel guilty about any cheesey or yoghurty
i had in europa
folks
i wassa fucking hungry....alright!?
you try being a fuckin vegan in espagna
yeah yeah
i know merrick
youd never eat cheesey even if you were droppin'
but the show must go on....doesnt it?
who said it did?
i dunno
but if it took a little thing of yoghurt and some white widow
to get me onstage in bilbao...so be it
otherwise it was a plate of runner beans and broccoli
i need a little more than that
but im back to my veganism now
and should hopefully be able to maintain in u.s.
where you CAN get veg food
specially in cally fornya
wow
we're hitting some strange places on this tour
florida etc
arizona....in july...who booked this tour???
oh yeah i bet those cool breezes blowin down mainstreet in july
the death valley theatre should be a good gig too
then down to tex arse
better learn texas moon
hope no cowboy gonna blow me away fer mah auntie guns stance
oops sorry no denver folks
seems i forgot to pay for my packet of cashews from the mini bar
and the colourado copps are trackin me down...
no boston...ooops...and just when lord belfrank has moved there...!
i hear gw refused to let us gig in d.c.
damn
i know dick n donald are digging ultc too
nevermind
cleveland ulp!!
they never liked us there even when we were bigg??!!
but an easy drive for ms eeky i guess
new york city
alrighty wow
will i get to meet k the g
will jay dee be there?
will i go downtown and visit my mates in the lockup??
will i get my hands around the neck
of the little prick who went outta bizness without
paying the chruch their royalties
(he knows who he is...and dude....i WILL!!!)
god
nk just tells me its 55 degrees in this kitchen
or 13 in celcius
no wonder mah teeth are a chatterin' and mah feet are a'freezin'
baby bumper is quite snotty and has been snoring all night
man
we try to pretend winter doesnae exist in sydney
but let me tell ya
ive never been this cold inside in sweden
a pale sun sticks out its bleary head
it couldnt warm up a paper bag
oh oh
must end bloggy now before i freeze over
but im still gonna hit that pool fiendss
and then im gonna hit that sauna
and then im gonna hit mah messy studio
an get some work done
love on ya
fr'ever
sk

begegnungen 2

you wanna know what it is like to be me?
i know
i know
why would you wanna
its a presumptuous question
but sometimes,
i know i do,
sometimes wouldnt ya give everything
just to be someone else just for 10 minutes
just to get a break from the guy in here
youre so sick of
just check out somebody else view
whats it like thru other eyes for a change
you know what
you never really gonna find out
thats not the answer you were hoping for
maybe you wished somehow
on this blog by some olde singer
there could be a technique for mind transference
i wish i could say you were right
i wish i could say then imagine this
its exactly 5.27 am
its cold
youre sitting in your kitchen with a woolly hat
hunched over a laptop
typing this too who are you?
are you imagining hard enough?
i dont feel the tiny push of your intrusion
into my life at all
take a swig of pitta tea with m. honey
cold hands
one finger typist
hunched over
shoulders startin' to complain
thats how ya did it last time hisses your left shouder
and im next joins in the right
gulp more tea
youve made two cups cos youre gonna need it
dawn is a lovely time
remember when the thought of dawn made you cower
the horrible sick dawn arriving?
poor dawn, knockin' at yer door
steven she says in some germanic accent
open the dooor I am here!!
and you know you cant keep this lady out any longer
so you pull something on
race downstairs
peer thru the little hole
oh its dawn alright
one of your voices says
well she floods into the place
and there you are
all alone baybee
the radiators whirr and bubble
dawn goes up the stairs
out on the balcony
pull those curtains
but shes still standing out there
sleep closes its doors
you bang on sleeps doors
hoping to be readmitted
when a very angry man pops his head out
and says
dont let me see you before about 10 oclock tonite!
why do i have to wait
you/i wail
i mean it he says
now scram!

open the curtains
ok
dawn steps back in
somehow suddenly older
not radiant and golden
but grey and timid
and while you were trying to get into sleep
she stood there patiently withering
as though she just needed
a fix of aknowledgement by you
to keep her held
although today is sunday
a bad day to feel bad
more tea
cold empty beach day
car parks empty days
foggy quiet day
mr winter i dont like you anymore
mr winter youre makin' me sadlook around the wallls
pictures of tori amos jostle buddhas n ganesha statues
masks stare down from walls with peeling white paint
everwhere bulging with mail, scissors, pens, bills, potplants
bowloffruit, vases with real n fake flowers
thermometer n ghetto blaster
a bamboo plant that needs a serious haircut
a few weary ants up early on their shift
to locate and transport
any food lying around
books, cds, a wooden parrot on a stick
are you here with me now
i dont know
is that you
or just mr winter
chilling me down to the bone
here its still dark actually
6 oclock nearly and still dark
both cups of tea gone
my typing hand n finger
are especially cold n distant
the shoulders start complaining again
its enough already they say
finish it now
and
blame it on us!

irrationalia

the bottle contained one message
and the messsage was help
neuman glumly drained its contents nevertheless
he was out drinkin' with his good buddies
steve kilby and aleistair crowly
the bar was almost empty
neuman was drinkin' beer
kilby was drinkin' something black n bitter
crowly was drinkin' a grant mclennan ice tea
which was basically every white spirit plus some juice or tea
or something
rudy its getting kinda late for me said kilby buttoning up his coat
whats the matter with you man said neuman
youre getting old man thats the problem
crowly ignored them
he was watching the couple in the corner
kissing n drinking n laughing
he was conceiving a little plan
a little surprie if you like
it was great to be alive again after all this time
all thanks to these 2 rascals neuman n kilby
things were like that in the future he thought
i need a familiar....
neuman was swearing and drinking furiously
every small thing that came up on the multi-screen
caused a torrent of abuse
oh for fucks sake he raged at the screen
whos that? kilby asked genuinely puzzled
its the new german minister for dreams
what? said kilby
he says we're on a yellow dream alert right now
oh wait, moving up to red at midnight, tonight, in fact
kilby shot the clock on the wall behind the bar a lightning glance
sure enough it was five to twelve
rudy how long back to my hotel?
what you frightened off man neuman slurred n sneered
pinch yourself are you awake?
crowly was repeating something to himself
just under his breath
it sounded like a prayer...or a spell
jesus you two worry me sometimes kilby complained
leaf him alone said neuman
let him do his fucking thing
the outside which was no longer outside
came in
it seemed like there were some monkeys
and some merchant seamen
a fight broke out
neuman whipped out his syllable gun
a bottle broke across crowlys head
the place had suddenly erupted
neumans gun went off
kilby clutched his chest
oh rudy oh look what ya did...
its only a dream
its only a dream
neuman shook the limp form
wake up
wake up
WAKE UP!!!
the pain subsided in kilbys heart
everything became clear
everything became bright
a great calmness pervaded there
neumans handsome face came into focus
ha ha
almost believed you were gone man
but rudy you just shot me.....kilby gasped
whats going on here..?
crowlys leonine face hovered over the prostrate bassist
hey stephen you brought me back
i brought you back ...right?
but al, is it true all the stuff those commenters said about ya on mah blogg?
well im sorry sir but i dont read your blog
but...?
and what if....?
and then you see that......?
the whole fucking world doesnt revolve around your blog, kilby, said neuman
but rudy you just shot me here on my own blog
and howcome youre spelling our names incorrectly sir? accused al
come on man
its just a blog
get ovfer it whispers neuman up close
where im laying on the ground
in this bar in this dream
in this blog
i can smell the aftershave and his beery breath
i can reach up and grasp his strong tanned hand
any way says al
thanks n goodbye
just like that says neuman
can you believe that fucking guy?

a german lesson

neumann sat in his observation module
fingering the velvet frost he had bought from zeitgeist
zeitgeist was a discoteque/biblioteque/boutique
in the old town in actionstrasse
the sky was red and torn and tattered
a cold winters day staggered to an end
in the streets urchins were peddling angelfruit
the moon was too scared to show itself
so everyone crept in the shadowy fog
slo mo
lo key
neumanns latest gig was filming some secret bullshit
he was bored by the assignment
he met his girlfriend hilda at the nietzche cafe
rudy theyve changed the menu she said
huh ? said neumann who was still in undazzling mode
i thought meat was outlawed last year by the e.u.
neumann checks the menu
cannibal burgers
sure enough, the "carni-vore"
could contain meat products
cmon he pulls the girls arm
we're leaving
outside cologne is cold and bitter
rudy, what does it all mean
neumann reaches into his pocket
the syllable gun snug against thigh
in case theres a war of words
raining droning coming down
a taxi pulls up
someone watches from a window in a flat
too much undazzling for neumann
when they get back to hildis flat
he stumbles in and stretches out on the floor
in shivasana
hildi pours them both a black liqueur
made from belladonna and sage
and wormwood flowers
the rain turns to sleet
she holds his heavy blond head in her hands
want some music, rudy she says
yeah if you like said the ageing spy
back with two beasts she says
neumann settles back
as the first notes of snowfaller begin
the first snow of the winter
adhered briefly and then melted on the window
there were some big fish to fry somewhere
neumann found it hard to relax
the girl used the spellman technique
on his third eye
neumann fell into a hypnagogic slump
dreambeings walked past him in the streets
the factories in the distance kling klang in time
the cars in the underpass swelling like a schoool of fish
the changing lights, the flickering signs, the reflected glare
the computers that were out there computing
the measurers all a'measurin'
neumanns head spun with the sudden enormity of it
all
do you like that rudy? came the girls voice
from very far away
stills of locations
coded numbers
exchanges
translations back into english like this one
take it easssy baybee he barely whispered
the speeding porsches and fords coating the night with white noise
one by one the lights go out in apartments
everything still
thats all...

prescient gargoyle airspace

a hundred levels down
enter name here
TIMEBEING
enter password here
*******
WELCOME Mr Steven J Kilbey
you are authorised to enter
please enter search word here
MEMORIES
please enter year
ALL YEARS
all memories at once?
YES
not recommended
CONTINUE

crabs crawl from rockpools at coffs harbour
we are on holiday
dads kindly warm presence/aftershave/ cigarettes
mum still very young /pretty dress
the car park on a cliff
what am i thinking?
blue idyllic 1950s sky
limpets and sea snails
bless this day, my lord
the green sea still chilly in early spring
but the yellow sun is warmer
younger than now
shines softer on our skin
come on then steven,
dad wants to get at least half way there before we stop
the backseat of the morris major
troubled sky
rain skates down the back window
i kneel and watch the miles disappear
we stop at motel
check in stuffy room but nice smell
i play outside in twilight
the motel owner has got shells everywhere
his wife is a practicing witch
there are pagan symbols everywhere
as well
the bush is still teaming with animals
the night is teaming with stars
lock onto feeling
cant be felt any more
all the details to be captured
blur without maximum focus
which is only possible for tiny bursts
in the sandy shelly garden
i produce my soldiers
who will fight it out here on this deserty landscape
other stuff is flying around though
a recurring nightmare
to have to contain in
to have to have all this stuff undercontrol
but it was impossible to do
even after i slaved at it inside ten minute dreams
that went on for literally ever
blue shadows of the night on sand
come on son
its getting dark
the open door to the room
dad outside smoking in the dark
our car reassuringly outside the window
much easier than a bloody hotel, innit? says dad
we all smile and feel modern
its great to share these little breakthroughs
just the 3 of us
im pretty excited
im sleeping in a campbed in the close darkness
at the foot of their bed
the people have left us biscuits in little plastic packages
and a little jug of milk in the fridge
tonight the nightmare cant find me
the bush sounds surround the cabin
everything closes down around me
this is a significant moment apparently
its nearly 8 oclock here now
where i "really" am
a constant stream of personality bytes
receiving and sending out meanlingless messages
important data
running checks
improving upgrading
sweeeping low over salty lakes watching for flashes below
anything you like
thats the problem
and thats the cure too
have a nicean day, fiendss
me

Obselon Mi-Nos

circle
procession
the water nearby, waiting
another moses in the bullrushes
moon obscures itself
secret pieces
long years in slavery
priestess of snake cult
lions restlessly pace
a tatoo, faded to a blue blur
faltering lamplight
it all moves around again
voices in our head
language , ciphers, signals
trained in the white arts
useless attempt at definition
more and more
we will move closer
the red giants
the black dwarfs
meridian is calculated
the only and painful way
your masters chains
garden light
the early and last stars
figures repeated for our benefit
how could we get it so wrong?
the waves begin
their amplitude has been underestimated
now the truth will sink in
we are going under
and after everything
now this
have the gods noticed?
motion in temple
ganesha crying milktears
vishnu crying moontears
ra crying suntears
every god will weep
but none may stretch out their hand
conquerors conquered
its all going down to the bottom
they play the anthem one more time
our brave men and woman
solemn against the sky
more waves breaching the shore
and inland
monkeys scramble up
lizards twitch in the hazy sunlight
countryside with farms, observatories
domes, libraries, statues, fountains
wells, horses, exotic birds
something unexpected is about to occur
running out of steam
the island shifts
buildings come down
the sea opens its mouth
boats go down into green chasm
nothing left
glassy calm
strange objects float
potted plants
some ceramic retorts
things rise up
but sink back down
here she lies
deep and cold now
never far from our mind

operating instructions

this is my take
i aint no doctor
but this is what ive gleaned/realised/learned/heard/intuited
over my long years here on this planet and in this body
your body and your mind have the potential to do almost anything
its the most simple and the most difficult thing
its so much more subtle
its so much more obvious
its so well hidden
not trying to be cryptic/poetic here fiendss
first of all
the soul interfaces n drives the body in some tiny gland
in yer brain, literally the seat of the soul
yer mind is not you
its a part of you
the mind is incredibly powerful once leashed
however
if you believe you are your mind
and the mind does whatever it pleases
then that can be a real cosmic cockup
you are an immortal soul
without beginning or end
our "science" here has no way of understanding that
nor do i
but i believe it
with your thoughts
once harnessed
you can change things
the way you want
your body is a lovely delicate machine
it was lovingly designed
and if you treat it right
it should give ya 70/80 years of good service
dont eat meat
yes it has protein and vitamins blah blah blah
but its a heavy dead bit of animals corpse
its sad and disgustin'
and maybe you are what you eat
fruit baybee
cmon you know that juicy fruit gonna give ya life
vitality, fiendss
cultivate this elusive quality
vitality
eat yer veggies
enjoy yer (soy/rice/oat) milk
nothing fake or heavy or chemically fucked up
you know what im talking about
then remember
give yer stomach a break every now n then
dont ever under any circumstances smoke (any more) cigarettes
ive smoked em and they fucked me right up
will never undo all the damage...
a paradox
to get energy ya gotta expend energy
get chi/prana into yerself
breathing exercises/pranayama/tai chi/chi gong
whatever
just respirate
feel that energy which permeates this universe
let it enter thee
alcohol in v. small medicinal doses
at home i drink once in a blue moon
on tour i may have one or 2 drinks a night
to warm up or loosen up or whatever the hell
i do it for
but it takes it toll
and i always pay for it
i recommend cognac or stoli vodka or zwack unicom
these drinks work cleanly for me
but only as occaisional things
a DROP of red wine is never a bad thing
dont smoke too much dope
cocaine n speed whilst being exhilarating drugs
use you up like wildfire
once or twice a year max
exstacy ditto
smack never
lsd mushrooms 2/3 times a year but be careful
now we got that outta the way
you just know im gonna recommend yoga again
its for fat/thin/young/olde people
even americans
and its a system for uniting your three elements
spirit mind body
it works
you gotta put some work in
its a reward unto itself
'the mere side effects will change you
it works if you work it
but it dont if you dont
got an hour a day
to retune yer system
get it running on all cylinders
whatever
i hope it dont seem i ram these things down yer throat
its just that
i was a cynic
i was a sceptic
yoga works
do it everyday and watch yerself go go
and walk everywhere
take the long way round
climb the fuckin staircase
go swimmin'
go camping
switch off the telly
dont read the gossip rags
try to stay outta arguments...
they suck yer energy right out
vibrate faster
charge things with yer good will n intent
count yer blessings
bend the world to your will
to understand something, love it
evil is the stuff that makes you sad n unhappy
getting olde aint so bad if you can try to improve as well
but better to start improving while yer young
when yer fifty youll have the face you deserve
be yourself
seriously
who you wanna be
dont put on a fucking act
it uses up vitality
floss yer teeth twice a day
find someone you love and stick with em
kids ll fill ya with vitality
and drain it straight back out
ecinacea works
manuka honey works
aloe vera works
acupuncture works
pranic healing works
astral travel is possible
there are ghosts n discarnate entities
there is a god
attempt to establish dialogue in yer own way
or
manuals how to do that
you know what they are
the sea has some special revitalizing element
but so too in clean rivers n lakes
dont raise yer voice ...burns up vitality
if someones got bad energy , leave their company
or tell em to piss off
avoid people who make ya feel badde
grape juice has special curative powers...drink liberally
plants in the home
trees n nature make ya feel good
fluorescent lights, tvs, computers
leafblowing machines, aeroplanes,
shopping malls, junk food
all that makes me feel bad
listen to what yer body is trying to say to ya
execise yer will
make yerself do something hard or regularly
reality shows
crime shows
make
you feel bad
microwaved stuff is bad stuff
msg is bad stuff
being angry driving a car burns up vitality
being jealous destroys vitality
ditto envy
dont let em make ya feel bad
dont believe everything they tell ya
its possible that some govts
are cynically, blatantly
fucking us over
just like stalin, or nero
or insert classic imbecile dictator here
war kills people
everyone has to refuse it as an option for it to end
i dunno if school is good or bad
i dunno if inoculations are good or bad
i dunno if abortion is good or bad
so many things i dont have a clue about
never black n white always grey
many sides to one story
one mans meat is another mans poison
one mans fish is another mans poisson
i hate eggplant, cucumber, capsicum
i hate any metal music
and rap
they eat up my vitality
dont overstimulate yerself
be kind to yerself
go easy on yerself
thats my advice
sk

talkin bout the midnite blogger....

one of the children
another bad dream
its a black rainy midnite
i listen to equatorial stars
the bending notes free my mind
soft tinkles a life at sea
so still
so quiet
minutes rain down from the clock
drowning me in time
outside things come down with the rain
silver things
some good
some wicked
the night surrounds my house
it asks me my name
oh im steve kilbey i say
no not that it says
your REAL names
i think for a minute
for a minute i remember
somebody singh?
i was somebody singh from rangipur
i had a baby elephant
i was a sikh
i was killed in a skirmish with the british invaders
i had a wife and daughters then too
no says the night
what is your real name?
hanssen?
po-ti-hael
adam
i dunno
what do you want? i ask midnight
you always know what i want steve
says the daerkness
between my ears the tinnitus sings
like fripps loops
stretches out forever before me
the tinnitus whilstles every song i ever bashed out
every guitar lick n cymbal crash faithfully recorded
playin' back forever
no battery needed
dont be surprised if i dont hear
the whole city screaming out for help
cars skid down dark deserted beach road
shady shadowy figures meet in dark places
rain increasingly heavy
a night for strange stuff to happen says the night
are you ready for it?
nah, not really i say
im gonna go to bed soon....
so.......says the blackness
the stars snigger
so what they ask in voices like frosting
what would you know what its like to be me i ask them
the silence resumes
rain patter pitta
clock tick tock ad hoc
alone in this midnite blue
my kitchen feels cosy
you dont keep us out that easy
say the nocturnal voices
the fledglings are getting soaked out there
i take a slug of grape juice
another hit of m. honey +10
sugars hit my system
my body that does stuff of its own accord
holding me down somehow
it really is the flesh that needs suppressing
its a suit n tie
but you gotta take good care of it
you gotta establish union
the night raps on the window again
you fool
it says
its already morning
things are already changing
the honey is making you crave it more and more
can you just eat it like this spoonful on spoonful
no restraint says the night outside changing
into morning
rose grape juice
its fuel
ready for potentiation
no no says the night
sleepy sleepy
dreamy dreamy
see you in your dreams
fiendss

chooseday

very goode n early morning to ya fiendssss
im up nice n early
eating manuka honey
like liquid sunlight
coursing thru my veins on this cold wintry siddley morning
wow
i just keep spoonin' this sweet powerful stuff
in ye olde gob
it tastes bloody wunderfull
i bought a thirty dollar jar
yessasday
an' i'm nearly half way thru it
its ambrosia itself
its gonna make you vibrate faster n faster kidds
pure energy
like those cans of STP you stick in yer petrol tank
this honey makes yer system burn faster n brighter
all food is sunlight in another form
(even disgustin dead meat...in a degraded hard to use form)
yer stomach has to produce heat to break down the food
release the energy/sunlight
some foods like wheatgrass n this manuka honey
they hit yer system n explode in light
hardly any processing to be done
just straight mainline light
other stuff takes longer n more work
i heard of a lady who cured her cancer with a grape juice fast
i told ya that already
you see
when the pressure was off her resources
ie: she wasnt loading her stomach down with loads of
hard to process junk
her system was freeed up to take care of the nasty stuff
like deleting rubbish from yer computer
so you got more memory for other things
(a dodgy analogy, i guesss)
i dunno
you eat a piece of meat
it takes days to be broken down...if at all...
all the time rotting inside ya
taking so much heat n effort n acids n juices
to try n get the energy out
seriously
but this honey
bang!
you got it rite away
fiendss
i beg ye
dont eat meat
its death warmed up
youll nae vibrate in tune with the uni-verse
itll make ya sick n fat n olde
if we all refused to eat the corpses
this whole planet would be free of so much misery
its truly disgustin'
like slavery
and war
and torture
things needlessly dying in shame n agony
things that are connected to us
things that will poison your brain with their dead chemicals n karma
meat is murder fiendss
thou shalt not kill
try it
trust me...

anyway while im having a ranty-rave
on the plane home
i see some truly disgustin' useless pathetic tv shows
while im tryin to while away the long hours
normally dont have much time for the idiot box
sucking out my will n intelligence
got better things to do...
like thinkin and imagin' things for myself
anyway
theres this one show comes on
oh god it reviles me..
consisting of a "panel of fashion experts"
and a bunch of silly women
desperate to be models or actresses or just anything
...as long as it involved being famous for half a second
these unfortunate imbeciles are given 4 minutes
chucked into a room full of clothes n makeup
(how sk fucking LOATHES makeup!!)
and then one by one
they strut their sad desperate stuff in fronta the ex-spurts
2 of whom are so obviously fucking gay
i mean
why the fuck are gay blokes advising women
on how they should look n dress
or am i the only one who sees the sheer absurdity in that????
its so ridiculous....what the fuck would they know?
and they werent no oil paintings themselves, lemme put ya straight
and the words theyre using ...sexy...sleazy...
lisping idiot cliches "im not feeling your sexiness..."
the women on the "panel" all ugly sick hollywood types
shallow cliche spouting bags
judging these poor fools who so wanna desperately be judged
i feel so sorry for em
now sk is no feminist...
but holy bejesus
aint anyone out there opposing this ....
people, yer beautiful as you are
you dont need this crap
god i was fuming in my aisle seat
then donald trump
and his "yer fired"
more desperate yuppie uber "straights"
scramblin' fer a piece of the action
whatever you say donald, you big fuckin kingpin
you captain of industry
(boy i'd love to get up close to see how his hair "works"
just like gene simmons..its comin from every which way)
how could any self respecting person run around
at this olde fuckers beck n call beats me
oh please donald make me yer apprentice
im greedy and disloyal n desperate n avaricious
jus' like you
i dont have decent bone in my body
an' i wanna get to the top of the corporate dungheap
NO MATTER WHAT
I"LL KILL MY GRANDMOTHER IF YA SAY SO!!
any thing
please dont lemme hear those words
"YER FIRED!!"
i'd say its definitely a no-trumps call fiendss
(thats a little bridge gag for ya)

its like ancient rome before its collapse
a sick fat population worshipping actors
involved in a hundred lil wars no one had the stomach for
a ruling elite with no love or compassion for the poor
and all around
mean n hungry enemies gatherin'
focussin' in on the soft white underbelly
are we jus' gonna stand here quietly
and let them dish this shit up to us?
what good is it to gain the world
and lose yer soul
i dont want my daughters to think they gotta be
sexy or sleazy
i just want them to be who they wanna be
without some ugly old bag or fag tellin em
to put more make up on
or lose weight
or shave their legs
or whatever
the panel themselves were the least "sexy" crew
(whatever "sexy" means, i dunno)
why wood ya listen to them?
i tell ya people
be yerselves
find yer own beauty inner and outer
and ladies
believe me
i'm a man
i know a lotta other men
we dinnae like loads of make up or emaciated women
we dinnae care about paris fashion catwalks versace bullshit
we like happy healthy women who think fer themselves
ITS THE TRUTH

i dunno
who have i upset today?
probably someone right now
burning their copy of my records
are we really gonna let the world turn into this?
is that all we are, us humans
flat abs, tit implanted botoxed madeup success seeking travesties
chasing some luxury condo
with wall to wall tv screens n and a microwaved sausage?

count me out then fiendss
i like my people au naturelle
happy, healthy and in tune with the spirit
say fuck you to the "reality" shows
laugh as ya switch off the idiot box
and pick up yer book
or ya paintbrushes
or as ya start a conversation up
you know....gulp...talking to yer lover or family or friends or whatever
go out for a walk
look at the stars in the sky
learn spanish
i dunno
but that screen suckin away yer will and yer time
do ya need it
hell no!!
im sk
im leavin' ya to it
manuka honey rules

home n hosed (i suppose)

aurora says
dad, is it good to be home?
i say
home is where the heart is
i sense she may feel im evading the question
d'ya know what that means ?
i ask her
then i say
it means wherever yer loved ones are thats yer home
she fixes me seriously in her brown eyed gaze
dad, it also means that your heart is your home

i dig my daughters ever so subtle twist on this old cliche
that invests it with a whole new meaning
a lyrical move i go for often, obviously
a big picture evoked just from the slightest
change of preposition
or order of words

the doodles are already writing songs, actually
good melodies and stuff
evie wrote the cup of gleaming hearts
the song starts
"for the family......"
aurora wrote
i dont know what everything is( because thats what i know)
but it pretty much consists of the title sung overn over
its more of a chant
baby scarlet a humming and cooing all day
nk has discovered powderfinger....!!!???
i never thought itd happen
i am neutral towards the finger
i really like some of it
some i dont really like
but shes got a best of and she likes it, apparently
i guess it takes an american awhile to "get" the finger
which could account for their failure to conquer the states
my self
i reckon bernie onstage has a christlike qualiy
a distant stare, a vulnerability
their best songs are exciting and the rock
in unexpected ways
sometimes they seem like bad company
too meatnpotatoes for this old weirdo
lovely geezers
and church appreciators
one said to me (quite surprised)
i met you outside the rock arena when i was sixteen
and you were......(gulp)..nice
of course ian made a record with grant
the far out corporation
i feel a kinship with them
let them rock n rule the roost here in aust
better them by far than some of the silly ones
also doing big here

in fact im gonna stick their record on as i type the rest
if yer a bloke and you like a kinda neil youngy aesthetic
but a more tuneful singer
and some good lyrics
you should check em out
anyway theyre all billionaires
"cant ya put one of MY songs on yer next billion sellin' record"
i josh haugy but cmon
i could buy a little house if ya just put ripple
or somethin' on there

anyway nuff of that
as if those rock giants need space on this humble bumble bologg
a nice flight home
sat next a gas geezer from sri lanka
and hes a buddhist
and we're off
didja know buddha was the 8th incarnation of vishnu
i ask him
yes, but i only read it recently....fascinating....
and what luck
or is it luck
that lord v sends a lovely bloke
that can discuss these things with me
and hes got the 1st hand knowledge
hes sad about the tamil tigers
theyll never win he sighs..nothing can ever happen

my luggage is there
oh god
the stupid sydney quarantine man makes me open my suitcase
all my shirts n underwear n socks n toothbrush n razor n stuff
explodes all over the place
"its the elephant, sir"
jesus, i got a little wooden elephant i bought nk
christ its a change from the day
some goon dusted down my passport n proclaimed
sir there is traces of the following drugs on your passport :
(type yer list here fiendsss)
anyway the wooden elephant is eventually given the go ahead
to enter this fine country
wouldnt want unauthorised wooden elephants runnin' amok downunder
would we ?
i guess theyre tryin to keep out parasites
i saw a chubby little american boyscout
get his fuckin' beef jerky confiscated
bravo!
you just did that kidd a favour mr customs man
australia s the only country where they xray yer stuff
on the way IN ???!!
oh well keep those parasites out
i say

everyone likes their gifts
im not good at buying getting or giving gifts usually
but this comes off well
thankfully
in the arvo
we have a walk on the boardwalk
and its as if michaelangelo has decorated the vault of the sky
with huge clouds suggesting beasts revolving around above us
mauves turn into lilacs n powder blues
the cold sea like metallic pastel
inspiring weather, fresh air
thismorning i take yon droodles to schooly-wooly
hit the pool
its about 17 i reckon, nicen cold
but not freezing absolutely like saltsjobaden in sverige
that was at least 4 degrees colder than bondi
and its their summer
we are used to warmth downunder
i mean its winter here
but i just did me yoga out on the porch
just in my shorts
and the sun felt very nice on my skinn
anyhow i promised to do something
so i gotta go
click yer heels 3 times and say
theres no place like home
(actually i woulda preferred the emerald city in oz
to kansas...but thats just me)
sk

hong kongkerred

dear fiendish ones
as promised a missive from honkers
just arrived
and am sitting beside a huge window watching planes land
in the distance the improbable city of hongkong
surrounded by mountains n ocean
4 hours before i drag my weary carcass
aboard the flight to siddley

well its been a test of nerves
yessaday i arrive at stockholm airport
and the lady checking me in
jus' wasnt digging me at all
despite the ole sk charme
she was not taken in
first of all she wouldnae check my baggage thru to sydney
because i'd lost the bit of paper from my travel agent
secondly she hit me big time for excess baggage
about a hundred and fifty bucks
then although i had a tight connexion in london
the plane sat on the tarmac for an hour or so
due to technical problemos
sweltering in the airless cabin
thinkin' i might miss my flight home
i became panicky n morose
anyway just when i'd given all hope up as lost
we take off
arrive in london
instead of a smooth stroll to reconnect
i gotta enter london
find my bag and bass guitar
re enter airport etc etc
so the lady at customs isnt sure if im the same sk
as the sk from 97 when mah passport pic was schnapped
due to fungal presence of ye olde white beard
eventually she lets me in
and i charge down to baggage reclaim
aware of each elapsing minute racing by
(aint it strange how fast time goes when you got none to lose)
oh gee golly gosh
my big grey suitcase with its jesus and ganesha stickers
is almost one of the 1st things off
oh well t'ings are looking up fer yer humble hero
i wait for mah beloved fender jazz bass
my 7, ooo dollar stradivarius of the bass world
my piece of wood which i have a symbiotic relationship with
my masterpiece of a bass, even on every note
a thing i love like a child
minutes go by
i see all other passengers slowly but surely
pick up their stuff n leave
no sign of my goode bass
i start to panic again
oh no
oh no
i go to the sas desk to report it
im almost in fucking tears
my bass, my bass guitar
is about all i can gasp
to a very disinterested dude
who evidently doesnt speak much english or swedish
he pushes a piece of plastic towards me
covered in different types n styles of suitcases
so i can identify what i lost
no no no im stammering
its not a suitcase
its a bass guitar case
a big oblong brown thing
all taped up where you lot have smashed all
the hinges off on the way here...
he tries to pacify the raving hippy in front of him
just wait...it'll come
anyway im standing there thinkin'
how will i live without my bass
when a kinda asian lookin' lady comes walking
across the floor with my instrament in a trolley
ah sweet relief
thank you thank you i say
can i have it
i gotta recheck in
i dont have to long
she wont let me have it
no no she says
you come with me
she pushes me towards the red "something to declare"
customs section
while i had hoped to quickly pop thru the green
theres a queue and sniffy beagles runnin round
and loadsa customs ossifers
(sks pet hate)
what are ya doing i ask her
i got nothing to declare
shes waving this form in front of my face
you didnt declare your gun sir
my what?
your gun
oh fer fucks sake
some idiot thinks my bassy is a fucking rifle
i queue up
its not a gun , its an axe i joke
with the uber"straight" custard officials
finally we unwind all the tape
and they all have a goode laff
when they see my battered but lovely guitar
lying in its case dreaming of our last tour
"dont point it at anybody" says a dour lady officer
that musta been the funniest thing she ever said in her life
even the sniffy beagles stop sniffin' to have a giggle
i try to tape up the case again n i rush on thru
LUCKILY for me
my cathay flite is from terminal 3
the same one i landed at
im a blur of motion pushing my trolley
that wants to go in the opposite direction of wherever
i want it to go
pushing thru the crowds come to welcome their family n friends home
i go careening outside
into the smoggy londonistan air
back inside
knockin' people (carefully) outta the way
i get to cathay airlines
more queues
eventually get to the desk
weigh mah stuff
more excess baggage
thatll be 65 pounds sir
sk has no credit card
is there a cash machine round here
yes sir
i race upstairs
luckily theres sixty 5 quid left in my accnt
after having maxxed out my daily withdrawal allowance
that morning in stockholm
buying presents for doodles and mrs nk
(hope she likes what i got her!)
i go back down
pay the money
watch as my poor olde bass disappears down into another chute
its nerve wracking fiendss
i couldnae replace it
A) i dont have the cash
B) its irreplaceable

anyway i get a tomato bagel n a raspberry juice
and jus board my plane in time
christ what a strain on my nerves
im sweating panting n groaning as i sink into my seat
at last some good luck
the plane is half empty
and theres no kidd sittin' behind kickin' mah seat
(you ever had that???)
and no obese person overflowing into my space
ah...
i strap on ipddy woddy
to listen to the treasure trove of stuff
ive downloaded from marcus's record collexion
bonus grace disc
(love kanga roo)
all kindsa stuff
emmy lou harris
sixteen horsepower
plus some eno
dylan
"sister lemme tell ya
about a vision that i saw
you were drawing water for yer husband
you were suffrin' unda the law"
right on
i pull out my book
if on a winters night a traveller
by italo calvino
which im re reading after a long time
its brillyant fiendsss
do yerselves a favour...
talk about a different approach...
check it out if ya getta chanse
the flight aint too badde
my veg food is pretty unappetizing
but who cares
im on the plane aint i????
anyway that leaves me here in honkers
at the big window
my flite so far off it aint even on the board yet..
i wonder if linda wong is still out there somewhere...?
or what??
i wouldnt mind doing some yoga
but i dont wanna draw attention to meself
or get arrested as a member of falun gong or sumpthing
my coccyx is as sore as all get out
and its hurting just sittin here
but ya know what
you fiendss come 1st
and i promised ya a letter
n here it is
the airport vibrates slightly
or is that just me
backs aching n valium hangover
wow
how do people drop that stuff all the time
feels like i been clobbered...all groggy

also very happy that i can get on the net here fer free
unlike greedy london n stockholm
where ya need a credit card
and i think that my credit rating
is slightly worse than charlie manson or pete doherty
(busted in oslo a day ago with a gram n a half of smack)
actually listen to baby shambles off minnas ipod
what a tepid weak little goose ball
if he wasnt smokin kate mossys crack
he wouldnae getta gig anywhere
spineless little voice
thats the best song says minna
fuck!
i'd hate to have heard the badde ones...
only a matter of time till this boy goes down for a while
everybody braying for his blood
wouldnt be surprised if the swedish snuten
(the cops...literally the snouts)
dont pay him a visit in his campervan at hultsfred festival
the biggy in sweden
which the church have played twice
anyway i cant understand all the furore over this guy
when gw n his merry men continue their outrages
terrorists
communists
drug addicts
we gotta have an enemy, fiendss
just like in orwells 1984
jus' gotta keep the fight going against someone
so ya dont notice that the ruling classes are fucking us over but goode

any way
any how
im gonna log off me blogg
see ya all back at my kitchen table tomorrow sometime
im gonna wander round n see what mischief i can get up to
at this airport
i love ya
i love ya
ilove ya
sk (jetsetting hippy turkey)

hong kongkerred

dear fiendish ones
as promised a missive from honkers
just arrived
and am sitting beside a huge window watching planes land
in the distance the improbable city of hongkong
surrounded by mountains n ocean
4 hours before i drag my weary carcass
aboard the flight to siddley

well its been a test of nerves
yessaday i arrive at stockholm airport
and the lady checking me in
jus' wasnt digging me at all
despite the ole sk charme
she was not taken in
first of all she wouldnae check my baggage thru to sydney
because i'd lost the bit of paper from my travel agent
secondly she hit me big time for excess baggage
about a hundred and fifty bucks
then although i had a tight connexion in london
the plane sat on the tarmac for an hour or so
due to technical problemos
sweltering in the airless cabin
thinkin' i might miss my flight home
i became panicky n morose
anyway just when i'd given all hope up as lost
we take off
arrive in london
instead of a smooth stroll to reconnect
i gotta enter london
find my bag and bass guitar
re enter airport etc etc
so the lady at customs isnt sure if im the same sk
as the sk from 97 when mah passport pic was schnapped
due to fungal presence of ye olde white beard
eventually she lets me in
and i charge down to baggage reclaim
aware of each elapsing minute racing by
(aint it strange how fast time goes when you got none to lose)
oh gee golly gosh
my big grey suitcase with its jesus and ganesha stickers
is almost one of the 1st things off
oh well t'ings are looking up fer yer humble hero
i wait for mah beloved fender jazz bass
my 7, ooo dollar stradivarius of the bass world
my piece of wood which i have a symbiotic relationship with
my masterpiece of a bass, even on every note
a thing i love like a child
minutes go by
i see all other passengers slowly but surely
pick up their stuff n leave
no sign of my goode bass
i start to panic again
oh no
oh no
i go to the sas desk to report it
im almost in fucking tears
my bass, my bass guitar
is about all i can gasp
to a very disinterested dude
who evidently doesnt speak much english or swedish
he pushes a piece of plastic towards me
covered in different types n styles of suitcases
so i can identify what i lost
no no no im stammering
its not a suitcase
its a bass guitar case
a big oblong brown thing
all taped up where you lot have smashed all
the hinges off on the way here...
he tries to pacify the raving hippy in front of him
just wait...it'll come
anyway im standing there thinkin'
how will i live without my bass
when a kinda asian lookin' lady comes walking
across the floor with my instrament in a trolley
ah sweet relief
thank you thank you i say
can i have it
i gotta recheck in
i dont have to long
she wont let me have it
no no she says
you come with me
she pushes me towards the red "something to declare"
customs section
while i had hoped to quickly pop thru the green
theres a queue and sniffy beagles runnin round
and loadsa customs ossifers
(sks pet hate)
what are ya doing i ask her
i got nothing to declare
shes waving this form in front of my face
you didnt declare your gun sir
my what?
your gun
oh fer fucks sake
some idiot thinks my bassy is a fucking rifle
i queue up
its not a gun , its an axe i joke
with the uber"straight" custard officials
finally we unwind all the tape
and they all have a goode laff
when they see my battered but lovely guitar
lying in its case dreaming of our last tour
"dont point it at anybody" says a dour lady officer
that musta been the funniest thing she ever said in her life
even the sniffy beagles stop sniffin' to have a giggle
i try to tape up the case again n i rush on thru
LUCKILY for me
my cathay flite is from terminal 3
the same one i landed at
im a blur of motion pushing my trolley
that wants to go in the opposite direction of wherever
i want it to go
pushing thru the crowds come to welcome their family n friends home
i go careening outside
into the smoggy londonistan air
back inside
knockin' people (carefully) outta the way
i get to cathay airlines
more queues
eventually get to the desk
weigh mah stuff
more excess baggage
thatll be 65 pounds sir
sk has no credit card
is there a cash machine round here
yes sir
i race upstairs
luckily theres sixty 5 quid left in my accnt
after having maxxed out my daily withdrawal allowance
that morning in stockholm
buying presents for doodles and mrs nk
(hope she likes what i got her!)
i go back down
pay the money
watch as my poor olde bass disappears down into another chute
its nerve wracking fiendss
i couldnae replace it
A) i dont have the cash
B) its irreplaceable

anyway i get a tomato bagel n a raspberry juice
and jus board my plane in time
christ what a strain on my nerves
im sweating panting n groaning as i sink into my seat
at last some good luck
the plane is half empty
and theres no kidd sittin' behind kickin' mah seat
(you ever had that???)
and no obese person overflowing into my space
ah...
i strap on ipddy woddy
to listen to the treasure trove of stuff
ive downloaded from marcus's record collexion
bonus grace disc
(love kanga roo)
all kindsa stuff
emmy lou harris
sixteen horsepower
plus some eno
dylan
"sister lemme tell ya
about a vision that i saw
you were drawing water for yer husband
you were suffrin' unda the law"
right on
i pull out my book
if on a winters night a traveller
by italo calvino
which im re reading after a long time
its brillyant fiendsss
do yerselves a favour...
talk about a different approach...
check it out if ya getta chanse
the flight aint too badde
my veg food is pretty unappetizing
but who cares
im on the plane aint i????
anyway that leaves me here in honkers
at the big window
my flite so far off it aint even on the board yet..
i wonder if linda wong is still out there somewhere...?
or what??
i wouldnt mind doing some yoga
but i dont wanna draw attention to meself
or get arrested as a member of falun gong or sumpthing
my coccyx is as sore as all get out
and its hurting just sittin here
but ya know what
you fiendss come 1st
and i promised ya a letter
n here it is
the airport vibrates slightly
or is that just me
backs aching n valium hangover
wow
how do people drop that stuff all the time
feels like i been clobbered...all groggy

also very happy that i can get on the net here fer free
unlike greedy london n stockholm
where ya need a credit card
and i think that my credit rating
is slightly worse than charlie manson or pete doherty
(busted in oslo a day ago with a gram n a half of smack)
actually listen to baby shambles off minnas ipod
what a tepid weak little goose ball
if he wasnt smokin kate mossys crack
he wouldnae getta gig anywhere
spineless little voice
thats the best song says minna
fuck!
i'd hate to have heard the badde ones...
only a matter of time till this boy goes down for a while
everybody braying for his blood
wouldnt be surprised if the swedish snuten
(the cops...literally the snouts)
dont pay him a visit in his campervan at hultsfred festival
the biggy in sweden
which the church have played twice
anyway i cant understand all the furore over this guy
when gw n his merry men continue their outrages
terrorists
communists
drug addicts
we gotta have an enemy, fiendss
just like in orwells 1984
jus' gotta keep the fight going against someone
so ya dont notice that the ruling classes are fucking us over but goode

any way
any how
im gonna log off me blogg
see ya all back at my kitchen table tomorrow sometime
im gonna wander round n see what mischief i can get up to
at this airport
i love ya
i love ya
ilove ya
sk (jetsetting hippy turkey)

assortment of colours

last nite in sverige
swim in the river
walk with my daughters
lunch n dinner
chi gong on an old pontoon in the reeds
ducks n geese n swans
soft swedish sun
never wanna leave
love the ones in aust
but love these 2 too
always a catch
cant ever get it right
one door opens
another door closes
half empty
half full
half ajar
dread tomorrow
in aust right now doodles starting school
sweden its one am
sit on a bed typing to ya
fell so sad fiendss
confused
ah theyll getalong just fine without ya
after all they have before
2 places at once?
elli stop yawning
so hard to walk away
walk away in silence
wouldnt ya know it
thats how life ends....

invaders from the true worlds

its wednesday evening here fiendss
only one more whole day to go
before i say goodbye to the twillies
and head off on that long nervewracking flight home
cathay pacific stopover in hong kong
will blogg to ya from there
free internet at the airport
today i wake up n feel bad
cant even muster the enthusiasm to do my chi n yoga
which mighta fixxed me up if i coulda
but it wasnt happning
sometimes you dial the universe
but you get the old "this page cannot be displayed" routine
anyway
normally i'd push on thru
but today it wasnt occurring
i ring up martin k
and we meet up at slussen (the sluice gates)
and elektra jk and her friend julia join us
and we take a quaint little train to saltsjobaden
the salt lake baths
what a lovely trainride past cottages villages rivers n lakes
eventually we arrive in this amazing place
these old baths built on a lake that has exactly the same
salt ratio as yer eyes
its really nice to open them under water
theres a mens side nude
a ladies side nude
and a family middle not nude
hardly anyone there
the water is about 13 or 14 degrees
ah just what i been waiting for
some cold clear clean water
i swim about a bit
the others reluctantly have a paddle
but i m really used to it cold from the 'bergs pool
then for some inexplicable reason
they close down the sauna
and blow me down if i cant get warm for the rest o the day
they close down the cafe as well
gee it aint my day
but we find a great little place
and i have salad n beetroot gazpacho
remember you can beat an egg
but you cant beat a root...
and get this
a glass of orange juice costs 9 aus$
jesus how do the swedes afford it
come back into town
i have to go straight back to bed to get warm
im shiverin' n shakin'
then me n minna have din dins at chutney
a nice veg restaurant jus' round yon corner
and we have a walk n a talk
she tells me her friends think im snygg
(cute)
hey that aint badde being snygg at almost fifty bloody two
but it seems doubtful minna shares her friends opinion
and she already regrets telling me
as she sees it going straight to my vain olde ego
"oh, sk, yer still a handsome man...!"
anyway thats about it
back at markus s place
which has somebodies internet if yer in the right room
so im piggybacking on someone elses broadband
which always tickles me fancy
dontcha jus' love a freebie, fiendss?
soon im gonna rip my friends voluminous cd collection into
my eye tunes
and eye podd
and hey presto
i can listen to all kindsa stuff anywhere
i must say it changes yer listnin' habits a bit
i seem to be jumping from song to song
rather than listnin' to whole records
is this a badde thing, fiendss
current faves getting a caning in the cans
are
romeo n juliet by dire straits
look, i just love that song ok?
juliet, when we made love you used to cry
i love you like the stars above you
i'll love you till i day
theres a place for us...

memory motel by the rolling bones
which ive taken to playing a bit solo
always loved this one
maybe my fave ever stones song
(and thats sayin' a bit)
(and billy preston died too, rip)
my nerves are shot already
the road aint hardly smooth
croons micky jagged
and i empathise

underground lovers eastside stories
when you go you go go
talking to a fucking dago
alright
go gb
lotta energy in this one
and another mention of
theres a place for us
(from west side story...a movie i love)

dreambrother by jeff buckley
the wind in her butterscotch hair
why lord why
did ya take jeffrey from us so soon
and leave so many other idiots still out there making
rotten records
this guy haddit all in spades
the looks
the voice
the songs
couldnt believe how good it was when i first heard it
and always guarantees pleasure listnin to grace

mimesis of course
hello...im tryin' to place a call to australia
(asian womans voice) yes yes which room
uh um im in room 13 on the 13th floor
jesus polinski n the bouys cook up n ambient storm on this one
and that olde sk....blah blah blah
yeah fiendss ya gonna have to wait a bit
i guess a few more munths before this masterpeace
hits the olde market
if ya like sks spoken n crooning words
if ya like long winding weird beautiful songs
then yer got the right address here
not everybodies cuppa tea
the shortest track is about 10 minutes
but plenty to keep ya occupied if you like
this kinda thing

of course a bit of t rex
20th century boy
still exciting me in all its silliness
all these years later
friends say its fine
friends say its good...
rock on boppin' elf
i'll be listnin to yer goode records till i die
and avoiding yer bad ones like the plague too
a glaring example of how cocaine can strip yer talent
outta yer soul and leave ya useless
but , marc, yer best is the best
beard of stars( yes raw ramp, one of mah faves)

um well
i guess thats about it for this washed up olde rocker
think i better check me emails n see
if i can get a bitta yoga in
its started to get cool again here in stockholm
and its raining gently
mark lanegan playing in the background
quite enjoying it actually
also heard greg dullies new one twilight singers last nite
very impressed
so thats it
a nice break from all the effing soul searching stuff
here on this bloggy lately
thanks for tuning in
see ya 2morrow for the final swedish broadcast
(narrowcast?)
my last day with the twills until ?
excited to see doodles n the bouncer
who can do lotsa new tricks...
shes trying to crawl and aurora says
look mom, shes doing the dog pose
(mom spelt mom and not mum cossa her jimmy stewart accent!)
and gotta get some lil gifts too, i guess
very sorry to be leaving twills n sweden (again)
but just like that song
im cut in two
love reign o'er me n you fiendish ones
stevie boy

acknowledgements

nick cave sings people aint no good
thats not all true nicky
ive known some wonderful people in my time
now im gonna embarrass em
even the ones who dont read this blogge
1st of all my poor old mum
she carried me
a big fat baby
for 9 months
(dont scoff till ya tried it)
she taught me to tie my shoes
and to enjoy language
my mum was bombed every nite in the blitz of london
she hadda leave school real early
to work when she coulda been an academic or something
other than a steno-sec
she didnt always know what to do with her cheeky precocious son
she'd never heard of enfant terribles and i was that in spades
my olde dad you know about
he had the music in him
and the 2nd world war interrupted whatever other plans he may have had
he was much funnier, and more talented than me but i guess
he never got the breaks
besides he was a zen kinda guy
he never complained or cried or betrayed any weaknesses
he died too too young
and i miss him every day
my bruvver rusty
jesus he took some punishment from me
he was a much nicer kid than me
and everybody loved him
anyway we're great mates now n thats the main thing
bruvver john, so much younger than me
we always been pretty close
now he runs kh and teaches geniuses
a bit more saintly than me or rusty
very patient
the guys i played music with
ken n joe n dave from baby grande
you were right to kick me out fellas
i was a pain in the arse the whole time
and i didnae have a cloo what i was trying to do
dave, youre still one of my fave guitar players ever
i kneel and worship at yer ability to play them silver strings
you were better in 1974 than i could be if i had a thousand lifetimes to practice
dave young also another great player n writer pre b.g.
he lost some fingers in a bike accident but could still play
like a demon
bronny n joanna from the act debating team
we nearly went all the way to the top, didnt we?
and we had a fucking hoot too
peter k
been my buddy for a long long time now
over 30 years
jesus
another natural who i could never emulate
an intaresting character
a devils advocate
he likes to shake it up
i shoulda listened to your warnings more often pk
but i was slow dazzled by everything
mwp
what a fucking trooper
have guitar, will travel
always developing getting better n better
stuck by me thru some very nasty times
and i'll always appreciate it
tim p
for reorganizing n reenergising the mess
that you came into....
an old boys club going nowhere
the MOST patient man i have ever met
he can deal with anything
and he usually does
easily easily the best drummer
i ever played with hands down
chris gilbey for havin a bitta faith in the beginning
even tho it went a bit bad at the end
KLK who put his money where his mouth was
another of natures gentlemen
stood by watching me self destruct n never wagged a finger
my olde mate martin k
another guy who was ALWAYS there for me when the chips were down
sometimes the only one who was
you saved my ass a few times
and i'll never forget it
karin j for her persistence n good faith
and helpin me write some songs
and for givin me elli n minna
theyre a credit to ya
her husband gorm who always made me welcome
when he neednt have
my olde buddy markus s
im so glad to see ya again and in love
(he'll really hate being mentioned here
but i love the manne, what can i say)
my wife nk
who went thru so many junk withdrawals with me
and like klk
never said i told ya so
she just was there
and she loved me hard
and i love her for her beauty n soft words
and cos she gave me a, e n s
and cos we're such a happy family
my sister in law amy s
what a lovely talented beautiful lady
gave me my first set of pastels too
zoe...youre lovely
wendy her mum
a truly truly miraculous woman
is there anything she cant do?
shes cured a million things
and never laid a finger on me!!
holly j
who encouraged me tp paint
and has helped me realise it
g nunn
ditto for poetry
boydie for nsew when there was nothing n nobody else
to m farrant for the maven...just dont say quirky!
to the guys who started shadow cab n hotelwomb
we'd be almost nowhere without ya
to grant
who ya know i love
to patti hoodlum
whatta lady n harpist
cant wait to see ya
ricky or rikki or however ya spell it
the only guy who can hang round yer house all day
n nobody ever gets sick of
ernst
the dutch norwegian dude
shame it wassa short one in london
to kevvy nejjy
in buda
a real surprise
ya did ya gig with style n aplomb
and
youre a really lovely bloke
james n suzanne b
my true friends
people who put their arses on the line in places other people
dont wanna go
like malawi, mongolia , indonesia
the lil lord
i love that woman
polinski
not gonna swell his head again

and of course
the readers on my blogge
who agree disagree
but
they care
i wanna say a few words of encouragement to mark m
i been hearin about yer troubles, mate
and if my bloggy cheers ya up
thats the least i could do
hope yer improving
to the lady from yessaday
with the nasty nasty growth
i am convinced veganism n meditation
and all the good things are the way to go
youve touched my heart
and we're praying for you n yer daughters here
to sue c
what can i say..?
all the rest of ya
i dont want a big schmaltzy love in here
cos im really a hard bastard
but you got me hooked on this thing
i cant wait to read yer comments
each day
we got somethin like 700 people a day on here
if ya dont post any comments
go ahead...be a devil
youre my readers
youre my conscience
otherwise if ya didnae exist
i woodnt bovver writing nuffink
at all
anyone whos bought my music
or art
or poetry
i appreciate you had other choices
thanks for flying with sk airways
theyre may still be some turbulence ahead
sorry i aint answered all them questions yet...
i hope to do so slowly
if i didnt mention ya
doesnt mean i dont love ya
i do
we're all kinda in thiss together
i aint gotta clue where its all going
but im excited...
and honoured
to have y'all part of my life so far
see ya soon
im having dinner with minna glowy
and elli bear
twas their last day of school today..
its a heatwave here...
love
steven

she used to call me sweet daddy when i was just a child you know you kinda remind me of her when you laugh

masks of humanity
the tall and the handsome
the legless and lonely
old alcoholic women curse n spit
models stride by, oblivious in their frozen contempt
children urchins spoilt brats orphans
angry businessmen screaming down the line
crooked liars
saintly mages
hungry ghosts on my back
sucking up my addictions
gamblers roll the dice
farmers watch the sky
soldiers keeping peace
hindus n jains
islam n jews
blacks n whites
boys n girls
doctors cut deep
nurses mop up
drivers swerve
the fortune tellers gaze into my palm
the stargazers blind in the light
all these parts i will have played
half angel
half beast
half human
3 quarters of my life evaporated somewhere
years melt
i wake up worried
some bad omen
some intrusion from a thousand years of living
god , coy, elusive, seemingly random
people come n go
seasons in flux
storms dislodge memory
i write songs
i procreate children
i meet n greet
i argue
i pacify
to him im a fool
to him im another fool
a brave coward
a stupid wiseman
everyone looking for something
im nervous when i travel
anna miranda my eldest
mercurial kind jumpy pretty funny
she leaves me a note
"sweet daddy, here are my keys...."
elektra june my second eldest
a swedish helen of troy
beautiful arrogant sharp scornful unconcerned
aurora justine my 3rd child
and closest to me
old soul, brown eyes, haunted every nite by her nascent gift
she says the darndest things...shes so wise beyond her years
evie starr, her non identical twin
tough, resourceful, self centred, a natural artist n athlete
baby scarlet virginia
just a chubby ball of potential...
good natured, cheerful, but bad tempered if ignored
this is my life
this is my diary
this is me
a bundle of contradictions n paradoxes
my mum reads my blogge
she hates it when i swear
my dad watches over me from heaven
patiently waiting for me to arrive
"hey slim, watch yerself" he laughs
my dad who i nicked all my jokes n gags off
thirty years since we last spoke
wendy (a white witch)
says i have the purple aura of a healer
but i chose the electric bass instead
at this incredibly late stage of the game
i choose to drop the masks
theyve done me no good
i actually learn to sing
i actually try to listen to people
peoples sorrow destroys me
it goes straight to my heart and i cry
i have ripped the veneers away
now
im cut open like a fruit
feeling the pain n joy of being a human
i been procrastinating this my whole life
i thought smack would protect me
i thought women could shield me
i thought jumping up on a stage
and making a huge racket would render me impervious
i thought fame would make me lovable
i thought rocknroll had all the answers
i thought bad things only happened to others
i thought everything would be so easy
i thought i could get away with blue murder
and still be red hot
i laughed at the fools
i spat on the down n outs
i scornfully threw a pittance to beggars
i sponsored kids in brazil n india
till i ran outta money that i needed for drugs
i ran with the best n the worst
i ripped and was ripped off
i did bad deals with greasy pigs who robbed me blind
i had bad luck with cars
i lost everything i owned
until i realised it wasnt anything at all
i scrambled up a ladder
i slithered down a snake
i made enemies thick n fast
with my cruel tongue and my piercing eyes
i helped some
i hindered others
i lost people i loved
i found others and i loved them too
i married my wife
who was calm n patient n gave me everything
i started over
here there n everywhere
i read books
i watched pornography
i mainlined speedballs
i took ketamine and floated a million miles above my body
i drank booze n slurred n swayed
i went in studios
with songs without songs
i produced n engineered n mixed
i got good n bad reviews
jealous little cunts tried to cut me down
slobbering syncophants elevated me to geniushood
i resisted change
i made mistakes
i toured the world round n round n round
i did things most people only dream of
i did things most people would revile
i stooped low
pawned my guitars
i got rolled
i got laid n waylaid n paid n underwhelmed
i detoxed n retoxed
changed my sox n my mind
i was all things to all people
i was a nothing
a washed up prodigy
a naive old man
a rude boy
i took the wrong road round
yeah
thats my story
nothing special
i took up swimming n yoga n chi gong
i learnt another language
i learnt to be a father
a little farther down the track
i did stupid dangerous things that involved the ones i loved
i was nice to scumbags n never complained
when i wanted to score
i cursed god
i prayed to god
i search for god
i lose god
i search again
i read the chronicles of narnia to myself n my kids
i idolised marc bolan till my mother thought i was gay
i dyed my hair
i had fancy clothes
i was skinny as a rake
and porky as a pig
i was a teenage zombie
falling asleep to diamond dogs
on top of a stack of playboys
i read the gita
i read the koran
i read the bible
i read trainspotting n the fucking da vinci code
i did push ups
sit ups
put downs
i put you all on
i crashed on peoples couches
i stayed in 5 star hotels n stole the towels n ashtrays
i huddled in caravans smoking rohypnols
i drove a honda prelude that got stuck in second gear
i had a mistress
i had a master
i taught songwriting to people who couldnt write a song
to save their lives
i wrote bad poetry
i wrote good poetry
i pissed off people in the bizz
and theyll never forgive me
i got gold records
i got amalgam teeth
i got earrings n bad hearing
i got grey hairs n wrinkles
i got more energy than most of you could dream of or stand
im sk
thanks for reading my story